How do you search inside yourself?

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How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Syrianeh on 19.01.09 9:59

I am not sure that this is the correct place for this thread, but "off-topic" seemed too vague.

Lately a lot has been said about proudly being who you really are. A lot has been said too about acceptance and about the right and wrong reasons for being something or other, about detecting the traits...

But when it comes to the realisation of your inner self, your spirit , your ka... in my experience it is not an easy task at all. Things might seem very clear at one point and then fade into the fog of uncertainty at another. This is such a subjective matter that it can only be tested from intuition. I for one am quite certain about the global and more solid aspect of my inner self, but there are so many ramifications, side roads and blanks still there that it's very easy to be misled. Whilst it's true that when I came upon the Asetian Bible many things were made clear, it is by no means the only road to follow from now on, because when one awakens to their reality the eyes must open all around, not just where it's brightest.

I am then curious to know how everyone here has taken up the task of finding themselves. The most obvious answers that come to mind are: reading, observing, meditating, exploring, asking questions... I do all that, and more. But I know there is another level, one much deeper than that, that touches that very central core where real certainty is at. I mean total absolute certainty. Is it ever possible?

Perhaps deep meditation or dream work will do it. Or perhaps it's just a question of patience...

Perhaps I question myself too much, but I believe that is a good thing.

I welcome suggestions and opinions.
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Re: How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Talibah on 19.01.09 10:11

I am so pleased someone brought this up, and in such an elequent way too Smile

I too have found that for a while, things appear to be easily understood, and a clear pointer to the way forward. Then as abruptly as that realization was found, it is gone...leaving more than a sense of detatchment - from my perspective at least. To feel as though you are close..but to actually realise that all you have done is widen the space between understanding and having yet more questions that need answering, leaves me feeling disconnected with what I was working towards in the first place.

However, I have come to accept - to some degree - that alot of that comes from within me anyway. I, like Syrianeh, question myself constantly. And whilst this can be a positive thing, I have found that personally, it makes me doubt more than anything else...myself, and my ability to continue.
Therefore, I have begun to relax a little and learn to just to accept that things will come in the time they are supposed to, and that patience counts for alot.

I believe the saying goes something like... too much knowledge gained too quickly, can be as harmful as having none.
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Re: How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Syrianeh on 19.01.09 10:31

"..but to actually realise that all you have done is widen the space between understanding and having yet more questions that need answering, leaves me feeling disconnected with what I was working towards in the first place."

That is exactly how it feels to me too.


It is also often difficult, I must add, to separate "desire" from "reality". What you want to be is not always what you are, and viceversa. And it can be such a subtle, conniving and tricky difference that many of those times even the clearest certainty can also be delusional.
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Re: How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Talibah on 19.01.09 13:08

If I may, I'd like to add something which I've been working through in my own head, and is connected with my previous reply.

When considering the Awakening process, it could be assumed (always a dangerous pursuit, assuming, I know) that an individual from the Viperine Lineage would be more likely to realize their inner Self, perhaps at a faster rate than the other two lineages due to their powerful intuition and stronger links with the subtle.

But we also know that these highly revered characteristics can become unstable, creating ego-centricity within the individual that they may simply perceive (pre-awakening) as their personal drive for perfection and further knowledge, when in fact it is just a pre-occupation with their own feelings, which in turn could lead them to slipping further away from their True goal (true realization of the Self) without even noticing it.

*shrugs* I could of course, be completely wrong in the eyes of some, but I welcome any critisism towards my opinion that may be forth coming.
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Re: How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Hellen on 19.01.09 15:09

Greetings ,

I first definately agree that search and answers have to start inside more than outside .
I think useful meditation can be done on how to distinguish those attitudes , behaviours , tastes and deeds , that make the core of yourself -your Ba – (which in my understanding is in fact your individuality , personality, which is unique) - from the occasional , or casual experiences implied by life ,which can be common to many others , to look at who you are and always been in every interaction you have , and event you face /or faced.
To that i think one must become aware .
It is very much about how you know yourself ,how long is your past , how much you remember and understand from your past. Not only past lives but this one too.
Exploring Past lives is even more helpful ,as it reveals more than one aspect of yourself ,as you can look at yourself in different states, faces, situations.
So i think is not about finding a path , or a model of how you like to be in life ( that's i think a human reasoning and desire ) but about understanding who you are ,find your voice back ,your unique path , and find the others who walk the same ,find your Family ,a natural desire , find out what your essence is and where it fits , find those who talk your language ,and who see the things you see.
With paying attention you can distinguish where others are , and you'll become closer to some , in a natural way.
I think the right way is to find the outside that fit with your inside and not fit your inside with an outside model.
Also who you are no one can take it from you .Except you.
Is not the search to become the image of other ,fit into an image , doubt of yourself or force yourself if you don't , but to become yourself , and find your unique place ,that who you always are .

And i would answer to Syrianeh's question if

“absolute certainty. Is it ever possible? “
And i think finding yourSelf and your Path should be like finding your Love and Soulmate. Not easy and not for all .But when you do there 's absolute certainity about it .
Finding your Self i compare with finding Love ,no doubts, no interests ,no shadow thoughts in it because is pure , is freedom , and is you finding your place and feel complete once again.


Thank you

Hellen
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All excellent posts

Post by Maxx on 19.01.09 19:32

All the above are excellent posts. good solid questions and answers on all sides.

Syrianeh, you and I have talked aside from this board and I can understand why you have posted what you have. There is no easy answer to your question but there is only one answer for you. That is to
separate your conscience from the subconscience and ask the subconscience directly what is the best path for you to take. It is your higher self you need to get in touch with. It always has your best interest in mind no matter what the topic is. Sometimes, the advice is not the easiest way out, but it is always the best in the long run. Take time out to get in touch and listen to your higher self. It is always there for you. Others with their advice cannot do the same or have the same interest for you it has. It always has you at heart.

For myself, if I had to deal with the issue you are speaking about, I have chosen to walk in the path of chaos. It requires one to seek out both sides and experience them to find the correct balance and bring it forth in ones life. I do not seek a walk with only the light. I seek a walk that includes both the light and the darkness. From this path there can be found a balance. This path or walk I speak of is not for everyone. Few can complete it without going mad. But for those that persevere, there is great reward. Also I am not recommenting this for you. I only speak it to point out there are different walks for each of us that we can travel in life. And for each of us, our higher self guides each of us in the direction we should go.

But I certainly wish for you and yours great success in the future. It can be a very worthwhile adventure if you follow the correct path for you, all of you.

Regards,

Maxx
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Re: How do you search inside yourself?

Post by Syrianeh on 20.01.09 5:20

Hellen and Maxx, thank you both for your enlightening messages. I will certainly take heed.

Maxx, you are as usual quite right about all and I will be pursuing your advice.
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An analogy along the same lines...

Post by Talibah on 25.01.09 7:42

I'd just like to add to this because of a recent change in how I view things... hope no-one minds.

In my personal quest to 'find' myself, I have found that one of my biggest mistakes is to try too hard, and to look too hard, thus complicating the process to such a degree, that I inevitably end up completely missing the point - not seeing the wood for the trees...

I'm analytical by nature, curious and forever questioning myself - but not in my line of work. I train horses and the people that ride them, to quite a high level in the disipline of Dressage.
Training the people, is astonishingly harder than training their mounts Smile

It doesnt take much to convince a horse that keeping all four feet on the ground, and supporting his own weight the way his mind and body intended to do, rather than flinging himself around a menage achieving nothing more than a sore mouth and a good sweat - is actually pretty easy. And for a horse, unlearning bad habits, in place of what is more natural, is exactly that - natural !

For those with a more complex brain and only two feet, the process appears agonisingly harder Smile

A rider will lean forward and grip for dear life, because it feels safer...
but it only serves to make the horse go faster - the person leans forward more, grips more, the horse goes berserk, both come out of balance, and so on...usually ending in an abrupt visit to the floor - for the rider!

My point is this:- there are things that naturally hinder a persons true path in life, and it is usually fear - most will opt for the safer route if one presents itself, even if that option leads them away from the truth of their intended path.
Overcoming this fear of letting go, and simply allowing yourself to be exactly that, and truly embracing that which at first feels wrong, or uncomfortable, will ultimately free an individual of their self-created safety net - which serves only to hold them in emotional and spiritual deadlock..

I get the finer point of that now! Finally Smile
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