Divine Intervention?!

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Divine Intervention?!

Post by thenerdiestwitch on 16.06.16 12:52

Okay, so one of the less personal questions I have been asking myself for several months now is one of a "divine" nature.

I have zero experience with deities. Previously, I just studied the lore and myth, because I thoroughly enjoyed the tales, Greek in particular. I never really put much stock in individual Gods/esses existing in some real, sentient form. But after having a certain experience, I have to say that that thought process might have changed. If anything, after this encounter I rationalized that Gods might exist better in my mind if I broke down the cosmic universal force (the natural, infinite energy that could be mistaken for God?) into several different aspects (love, war, life, death) and gave each of those aspects a name. This organized way of thinking made the concept easier for me to swallow, at the very least. I've never put much stock in sentient higher beings of God-like ability, because...well, too many horrible things happen in the world for their to be some mighty protector looking over us. My thoughts were, if in fact there were Gods or other things of great power watching over us, why the ever loving hell do so many innocent people suffer daily, while the wicked feed on them and only grow worse and more powerful? Over dramatic, maybe, but not inaccurate.

So, here's where my tale actually starts. I'll admit I was in a bad place. I was having a crises of faith, per se, after returning home from college after what was the worst year of my life. I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic. I am a relatively stable, solid person. A bit ADD, and excitable, perhaps, but I can handle most things, no matter how bad. To put it simply, I had my heart ripped out in the most vicious of ways, and I was falling down a spiraling hole in which I was teetering on making the choice of abandoning my spirituality all together, or using it for revenge. One quote that I've always liked, "Even demons run from a gentle man incited to war," applied to me at that time. Granted, I wasn't about to unleash righteous fury. It was petty fury; fury that, I realized sometime later, had been building for years because I'm good at repressing unpleasant things and soldiering on in spite of how unhappy I am. Well, apparently everyone has a breaking point. I felt that I had to choose my next actions very carefully, lest some proverbial magical shit hit the fan.

So, there I was, literally face-planted into my bed, after one of the only friends I had left reamed me out for not staying in contact over the summer and more or less ostracizing everyone from my life and being a miserable, antisocial lump while I tried to figure out how to recover from such a blow, and whether or not the total jackass in question really deserved what I was thinking of throwing at him, and whether or not I really had any right to dish out that sort of punishment. Let's just say it fit the crime, and was ruthlessly creative on my part. One of my better evil genius moments that I'm not sure I should be proud of or not...

And the next thing I knew, I was dreaming. I don't cry often, but I literally cried myself to sleep that night. I was in New Orleans, a place I always felt heavily drawn to. I was on Bourbon Street. Everything was extremely life like and detailed, and I was looking for something. Wandering along the street by myself, I felt pulled in a particular direction - and the next thing I knew I was in a clearing in what seemed to be thick woods. I'll admit I don't remember this part too well, this is where things get fuzzy. I don't remember the conversation at all, except for one sentence.

But I was standing outside of a circle of stone pillars. It seems like there was a stone throne on the left hand side of me, but I didn't notice that until I felt myself get pulled into the circle. I panicked and struggled, actually succeeding in breaking a pillar, which is when she appeared. I don't remember getting a really strong sense of fine details of what she looked like - I just knew immediately it was female.

She was striking, and absolutely terrifying. I've never sensed such power, so naturally, my first response was "Nope!" and I turned to run, but one of her arms (yes, she had six, at least - little fuzzy on that too. Anywhere between four to six, just more that two) caught my elbow, and I'm pretty sure she said "Wait." After that, I took more in of her appearance. Her touch and when she spoke put me more at ease, though I was still on guard. At this point I was almost completely sure I was in the astral realm. I'm usually good at at least knowing when I slip in - it's never intentional, because it's incredibly dangerous and I'm a total novice with it. All my astral experiences have been accidental, and quite a few have gone badly. This, strangely enough, was my most pleasant one to date.

She had dark skin, slate grey, almost blackish. It looked thick, almost stony. Her eyes were dark as well, I want to say black, but they had light in them, so not pitch black at least. She wore a scanty dress that looked more like decorative armor than anything, though I can't for the life of me tell you what it looked like. I am just left with very vague impressions of what she was wearing. The most alarming thing, other than her presence in general, was that her teeth were more like shark teeth. Many rows of razor tipped points. Her voice echoed with power, and it was literally echo-y, but not hollow. More....metallic. Rough, but not threatening.

It sort of sounded like it might have been coming from a distance.

We talked for a long time, though I can't really tell you about what, precisely. I know that my love life came up at least once, and she told me something that stuck with me through all the fear and confusion. "You'll never see him coming." I have the impression she actually smiled after she said that. It kind of put me on edge, but I kind of think she might have had like a devious sense of humor.

And then I just kind of.....left, I guess. Or she dismissed me. There was something after that, but...like most of my astral travels, I'm only left with vague instinctual impressions and feelings. Most of the time I only remember the fear, or very small details.

I'm aware there are tricksters in the astral planes, as well as spirits with far less than benevolent intentions that try to mislead for their own means. I can't even begin to tell you why something would want to mislead and/or trap me. I don't consider myself a particularly gifted person, nor have I dabbled too much with things that could have garnered too much attention.

It's still possible I bleeped something's radar, but I just don't know how I would have.

So, as a last note here, I looked up the basic description and I found that....well, the Hindu Goddess Kali best fit the description. I did some heavy research into her, and found I rather liked her. Given my previous stance on the deities, I'd never given much thought to pledging myself to one. I was previously mostly ignorant of Kali. I knew her name and domain, but nothing much else about her. Turns out she is far more multilayered than I initially thought.

Anyway, I'm just looking for input and advice about what to do about this; whether or not I should pursue answers, how to go about pursuing them (techniques to remember the conversation, perhaps?) and the likelihood of it having actually been some benign presence as opposed to something else. I'm given to trust my instant gut reactions over second impressions, so the fact my first instinct was to RUN THE HELL AWAY isn't really good. However, according to my research, people who are deeply rooted in the physical world or who are overly attached to the physical ideations naturally find Kali more terrifying.

I will admit that I love comic books and food and pretty dresses with wanton abandon, and I might have a burning desire to visit Disney Land at least once and own a '67 Chevy Impala (my dream car before Supernatural, thanks) but I have never considered myself overly materialistic. I will admit to being more materialistic than I would like to be, though. Just some food for thought that might help with your input!

Thanks in advance!
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Re: Divine Intervention?!

Post by thenerdiestwitch on 16.06.16 12:54

Ugh, I totally used "their" instead of "there". I was an English major, damn it! -hands head in absolute shame.-
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Re: Divine Intervention?!

Post by thenerdiestwitch on 16.06.16 13:00

Typos, typos everywhere. -sigh.-
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Re: Divine Intervention?!

Post by Rhea Kaye on 18.06.16 0:19

Hello and welcome. While I cannot provide definitive answers, I can give you my own input about your situation/experiences. I hope it helps in some way.

If anything, after this encounter I rationalized that Gods might exist better in my mind if I broke down the cosmic universal force (the natural, infinite energy that could be mistaken for God?) into several different aspects (love, war, life, death) and gave each of those aspects a name. This organized way of thinking made the concept easier for me to swallow, at the very least.

While I do not blame you for this way of thinking, it's important to remember that the Divine has infinite manifestations and is overwhelming in its complexity. A very simple example of this is the Goddess Aset. Being known as the Goddess of Ten Thousand Names, she can be seen as a horrific destroyer in one facet, a bringer of death in another, a warm and loving, gentle Mother in yet another aspect. The roles of the Gods, especially the Egyptian ones, often flow into each other and it is up to the student/energy worker/x to study the mythology as a complex puzzle heavily encoded with spiritual mysteries that have been guarded over time.

As for your experience, none of us will be able to say for certain if it was a trickster or a real deity you interacted with. It is probably a good idea to write down every interaction you have with entities, if you want to remember them well, along with the general feel of your intuition, emotions, etc. It is also easier this way to spot inconsistencies with what the entities are saying to you over time, if need be. Sometimes it is a trickster messing around, as you said. Other times it could be wanderings in your inner plane which are still very important to note. (My oh my, is the microcosm a huge place... Very Happy )
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