Dating issues for a young vampire

Hi! I made the choice to be a vampire when I was 12. That will to be 17 years ago. My difficulty is that I haven’t aged so my driver’s license and other government documents show I’m 28 but I look like I’m 12. I can’t find a date because I’m a pedophile catcher. When guys figure out I’m really 28 they bail. How do I find love? I feel too old to date a 12 year old even to change him. What should I do? I’m just going to get older stuck as me.

Wrong community. We don't roleplay here, sorry.

I highly suspect that not every troll passing through here is actually lacking in brain cells. Sometimes, it seems that people come here to do battle with the regular participants, sporting a deliberately donned ignoramus cloak, for the bizarre joy of it all.
I'm having a hard time believing anyone could be this ignorant, but would like to suggest a new hobby.

Then how old do you think I am?

Again, as another user has pointed out, this is the wrong community.

This reads like it's coming from someone around the vicinity of 43, who happens to be bored with life and existence.

I'm suspecting this is just Vincent Irkalla again. Seems like the same sort of stuff he's been pulling off online.

Of course, this is Urkel. (Steve Urkel).  Another post here was the same but no one bought into it.
Urkel cannot make up his mind if he wants to be a male or a female so he stated he will be both at the same time.  Implied total confusion and it manifests totally in his/her life.  Is there no IP check on anyone that enters here? I always wondered how Sushko could keep posting.

And no way does the posting come close to age 43.  That little brain is still mush and under 35.  Actually in the mid-20s range.  Not quite housebroken yet.

Gold.