How to get over someone

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How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 09.06.09 15:52

I need to know. How can I get over him? Every time I think about him I get strangely sad. A sadness I've never felt before, and I want to cry like a baby until I'm so drained that I might feel better passed out. We ended some time ago, but we were still hanging out and being together a lot. Since school ended, we've been apart so much that now it's starting to really hit me. He felt guilty about using me to make his pain over his last girlfriend go away. I was perfectly fine with that. If he needs to use me, I want him to!

It can never come back though. We're done forever, without a doubt. I just, I can't stop thinking about him. Little things remind me of the time we spent together, and it makes me so impossibly sad! This sadness is foreign to me, and I want it to go away. I just need something to comfort me, and I feel awful to come to anyone here for support. You shouldn't have to deal with such a childish thing like my adolescent issues. I wish I could just disappear forever, so it would go away.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 09.06.09 22:27

Never mind. It's passed. I just can't get over how weird it is to feel those things. I think I've discovered I have Aspergers, and that's why I've been so different my whole life.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Syrianeh on 10.06.09 12:02

Daniel:

The pain you are talking about is not so strange, and you are not the only person in the world who has gone through it. We all have. I have, several times. It is part of life, and you'll have to deal with it and prepare for it because relationships will begin and end, and if you are overly sensitive it WILL affect you more than you think you can bear. Of course right now you are still very young and these feelings are more intense because they are still "new".

There is no magic formula for this sort of pain. Just deal with it, because I can assure you it will soften out every day until it is just a melancholy memory.

Also, it is now a good time to delve into your creative exploration and to practice meditation.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 11.06.09 3:39

I really am sorry about this. It's so obviously childish that I wish I could just delete the whole thread.

All it is, is that I've been separated from him for almost a week, and that length of time with no contact has been devastating. I miss him with a passion I couldn't imagine, and I swear I'll throw myself into his arms if I'm not careful the next time I see him. It always gets me how the first time I saw him, from behind no less, there was quite literally a jolt, and my first thought was "he'll be a great friend". I wonder if it wasn't meant to be even more. He's already changed my life in massive ways that mean a lot to me. If I could just find out if he loved me... gah, I know how my female lover feels now. There's a girl at my school who's been swooning over me since freshman year. I dated her for a short time, and found I had no feelings for her other than pure friendship. Now she's head-over-heels in love with me, and I can't get myself to tell her I'm not in love with her at all. I'm in love with him...

But again, this is a trivial matter, best settled on my own. I apologize very much for bringing it here.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Saylamine on 11.06.09 18:50

No apologies needed, Daniel09. Dealing with this issue has crossed us all at every age. Breakups can help you discover new facets of yourself with time. It can be difficult to break up with someone when you have spent so much time with that individual. I just see it as a process of learning, self-acceptance, and experience.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by empress2k on 25.06.09 17:53

Daniel09 wrote: gah, I know how my female lover feels now. There's a girl at my school who's been swooning over me since freshman year. I dated her for a short time, and found I had no feelings for her other than pure friendship. Now she's head-over-heels in love with me, and I can't get myself to tell her I'm not in love with her at all. I'm in love with him...

But again, this is a trivial matter, best settled on my own. I apologize very much for bringing it here.

Darling, this is Karma 101.. In todays day and age it no longer takes a whole life time to pay what has been done. So, that being said, he has done to you, what you have done to your female lover.. You mislead her, he mislead you. Case closed. I've had it happend more then once and I knew as I was hurting someone that it was coming my way. So I'd make a choice knowing that I will have to pay the price. Just step outside, take notes, learn the lesson, appreciate the time you had with him and move on..Smile
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 25.06.09 19:26

Yes, you're correct, but he's also a very good person. He was always completely honest, I simply chose when I wanted to listen Wink

I kept a journal of the time we were together, and I spend time remembering now and then, because it was a very good time. I am not, however, still dwelling on our relationship. He's my best friend, and shall remain that. We're two very similar people, he and I. He was also the one who unstuck me from my perpetual depression, and I am in his debt for that.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by empress2k on 25.06.09 19:37

I am sure you are also a very good person. And I am sure you were somewhat clear of your intentions with your female lover, yet she chose to proceed and you did not terminate it based on the fact that you knew you did not care for her in a way she was looking for. Hence, it's a mirrored situation. Most importantly you got much positive out of it anc that is what counts.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 25.06.09 19:42

Actually, when I reflect on it, I was quite unclear. I can see how it could be perceived from her side that I was very interested, but unsure of how to proceed, rather than the truth that I was interested in trying to continue the relationship, but was uncertain about my feelings yet fairly certain I did not feel for her the way she felt for me.

I have a weird way of sending off the wrong signal because I try to please the person I'm with. Sometimes I'll be feeling the total opposite, but will still be perceived as if I was feeling how the other wanted me to. I suppose it could be considered a form of my innate manipulative abilities that tie in with my natural intuition, inherited from both my parents.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by empress2k on 25.06.09 19:50

Right, plus you knew what she wanted and you also knew that you weren't going to deliver it. Hence, you ended up in her shoes. From this point forward it is up to you to decide if you want to continue being in this predicament or not. Then you can be honest with her and tell her that you do not feel the way she wants you to feel. Women tend to make up stories in their heads and false hopes. It is your job to shape your own karma instead of going with the flow of what feels good.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 25.06.09 20:05

Yes, I'm taking control of everything now. I can also say for certain that the Asetian Bible has been a magnificent tool in the stabilization of my mind and body. I do not claim to be Asetian, but I feel empowered like one with how much these words have helped, and continue to help me work things out. Besides, if I can develop on my theory, I may have a completely rational, non-vampiric and completely un-magickal view of the entire book. Don't ask me about it though, it's still merely in the beginnings of being developed, and I haven't even used the filter on an entire chapter yet. I'll update everyone if I make any decent progress. If not, I'll keep it to myself and reconsider things again.

Thank you again very much for your replies. They are very well thought out, and feel completely honest.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by empress2k on 25.06.09 20:11

It is my pleasure! There is your opportunity for channeling your Highest Self through writing. Ok, I am off to my medium circle...Smile
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Daniel09 on 25.06.09 22:43

Well, my theory actually works out just about perfectly. The only problem is that even though it makes total sense to me, I have to stick to most of the terminology used in the book, because the terms for the abstract principles I'm thinking of don't technically exist in any other than a spiritually contextual form. It's really as if I'm seeing things through a lens now when I read the Asetian Bible. Unfortunately, I can't really explain how I'm seeing things... it's more of something someone has to figure out on their own, and I understand why Luis Marques chose such a method to convey these radical ideas. If they had been presented in any other form, they would have been dismissed and overlooked wrongly. This truly is a fascinating book, and it will prove to be valuable for a long time. I'm extremely glad I got it.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by Syrianeh on 26.06.09 0:35

Daniel, I look forward to more on this theory if you ever care to go deeper into it. It sounds very interesting.
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Re: How to get over someone

Post by empress2k on 26.06.09 1:20

Me too.
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