Any one understand what thy am?

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Post by Am I real 02.10.10 10:06

[center]I don't believe my name given to me at birth was politically thee correct choice

I have drank blood since I was teething I have been feeding off psy life since I was born but didn't understand until recently what I have been doing and how I was doing it just that it was fun and I got pure energy from it

My eyes change colour no they don't go red unless blood shot but they are green blue brown grey yellow orange and gold one pupil is smaller than the other at times the pupil goes oval but most of the time the pupil is massive and the iris is green

I smoked weed from the age of 14 now I'm age 21 and my soul goes into a trance state if i smoke it at night and I can taste blood and I speak in tongues and crave the souls of beings but I hold my self back even tho it pains me and I wine and kick I've had crystals around me since I was born all ways liked them and all ways had an obsession with Jupiter and Egypt but I don't know enough about either I wear silver and stones also when I took shrooms I needed to be by the river yet again at night my body yet again went into a trace and I started in tongues but I kept pulling my self back

I feel as though I am at a door and I'm holding on the strings of life and if I take a step up there is no going back and how far shalt I go what I cannot control thy desire and destroy everything as we know it I fear no one but I it's as though I know what I am and always have but afraid of that leap from grace my soul begs for me to proceed but what shall become of I

And what if I am wrong and I am just a breath of insanity then I spend my days in a even smaller box poked and prodded by those beings this is too much for me deal with who else wants this job of mine take my place I gladly swap for a unconscious mind who believe we have a sub conscious and that it not a way to make us dumb for seeing is painful maybe I am just pulling on the Walls of insanity I don't know what is real any more I feel that I have to break out of these chains and ascend above it all and stop this phenix path why can't my brother and sister just prove this fact and I will follow you away from ever lasting ashes and rise beyond them but just guide me someone I can't do this alone it's to much To take anymore

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Post by Divine 277 02.10.10 13:08

well.... first of all calm down ...... and breed Smile

Stress is no friend of mine Wink

There will be no difference in your life if you are or are not a vampire .....( accept the feeding of course ... )

You will still have to have a job , you will still have to live in the society whit all the rules ....

The only thing that mite change is the way you see your self ...

Like I said in the other post, time to read , meditate and probably cut out the drugs .... especially the "shrooms" ....

some guide lines I live by mite help ...

Never forget to listen and learn
Never close your eyes to the possibility of truth and knowledge
Never forget that understanding and respect helps us coexist.
Never forget that thing may not always be as it seems.
Never forget the knowledge in your own hart.
NEVER FORGET that the hart is chaos, and logic is order.
Never forget that everything has its counter part
.

Also have in mind, that I am only replying to your post on what you have written....
I don't know, If you are ,or are not who you say you are...
or If you just are trying to have a nice time by messing whit other peoples head, but I am showing you the respect of taking you seriously by answering your post.

Sincerely Divine 277
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Post by Am I real 03.10.10 6:12

Divine 277 wrote:well.... first of all calm down ...... and breed Smile

Stress is no friend of mine Wink

There will be no difference in your life if you are or are not a vampire .....( accept the feeding of course ... )

You will still have to have a job , you will still have to live in the society whit all the rules ....

The only thing that mite change is the way you see your self ...

Like I said in the other post, time to read , meditate and probably cut out the drugs .... especially the "shrooms" ....

some guide lines I live by mite help ...

Never forget to listen and learn
Never close your eyes to the possibility of truth and knowledge
Never forget that understanding and respect helps us coexist.
Never forget that thing may not always be as it seems.
Never forget the knowledge in your own hart.
NEVER FORGET that the hart is chaos, and logic is order.
Never forget that everything has its counter part
.

Also have in mind, that I am only replying to your post on what you have written....
I don't know, If you are ,or are not who you say you are...
or If you just are trying to have a nice time by messing whit other peoples head, but I am showing you the respect of taking you seriously by answering your post.

Sincerely Divine 277


Thank you for your post Devine it means alot that you posted an I can ensure you that my words are never to mess with anyones head they only mess with me nor are they to misslead anyone I never stated what I am for I feel that I know but am not willing to venture beyond my line hence I said it could just be insanity I may not be what my soul tells me I am and if this be so I could be acting out of the doing of someone else but I am not shore if I have broken shakra how do you know because as I said I've always been vary spiritual and yet I have always fed it was only resent that I relized that I was manipulating people and draining the weak so how can I tell if I am what my soul tells me or am I a shen

I am confused truly confused and as for the drugs I have pretty much quit but I have the odd spliff and the shroom I pick on season time and they take me closer to the door it's weird because am I insane because I have yet to hear some other who has felt what I feel it's tho I am a tadpoll swimming so freely and all I need to do is step out the bowl to become the frog but yet I am afraid of the unknown I even asked the elders of the site to comment but they do not reply but I have seen them say they are mortals and not even asetian like I say thank you Devine for you info as it leads me closer to that leap from faith but I just wish I could have someone guide me so i don't feel alone in this as I fear myself of what I will become your info is much needed as a view apon I thankyou to the people that can comprehend the conscious mind I do not and never will believe in the subconscious mind for it is put in place as law to dull the mind

They tell you tricks like you more conscious when you asleep no you travel on a astological adventure when you place your self in a trancelid state of mind hence sleep I remember my dreams but now days you don't why don't you I control my dreams and wake up on the time I chose why don't you why do you dumb yourself down I can not let myself be this way I don't have kids for I tryed and it died and as much for a job you want me to mindlessly follow in suit get a job het a nice car get a nice house drive to work in line change to a new line to get to your location walk into work place get in line again to get to work area leave work mentally drained to walk in line to get to nice car to to drive in line to to get home get home take a piss feed my hunger watch tvvas this is the only thing left get even more mind fucked by the bullshit on tv even more exhaustion from telepathically communicating with it yet feed more now it's bed time the same cycle awaits me tomorrow and the weekend is my draining time FUCK THAT!!!! I'm not ready to join the lines/queues of a bullshit fake no freedom life I'm conscious I am not sleeping I am wide awake my friend I am just looking for some guidance to what is real as I said I feel as tho I am a tadpole but I am worried about being a frog for I fear what I will evolve into or am I just a random mad man because I need to know

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Post by Divine 277 03.10.10 8:06

well, If your actually asking me questions I will actually answer Smile

I seriously am pretty tired ... I haven't got time to think of anything else then my family, they worry me, worry me a lot Smile

And when I'm tired I do consciously a choice, I choose to not "exist " when I sleep.... so I contol my dreams as well, but I Choose to do it in a different mater... Smile

The problem whit doing so, is that I tend to get far more , well call it crashes, between my right and left side of the brain ..... and That is why I seek...

Well , I wouldn't say that I dumb my self down, even if you are talking on a general scale....

The thing is, that there are not much we can do to change the iron grip that is holding us in the physical realm, call it society , call it to coexist ... call it government , call it lies ...

No , I wouldn't call you mad, I actually wouldn't call anyone mad , even though i fell a bit insane at times my self Wink

Here is why I wouldn't : everything can seem very logical to the insane person ... But Its not to everyone else , that sees it from the out side .... but does that mean the the so called mad man , is mad because everyone else cant see what he sees ... or is it out of lack of understanding ?

What do you mean that you tried to have kids, and why did it die and well, how old did you say you where ( physically) ?

and the 1000 dollar question is, What do you want me to do about this ?
Or what do YOU think I can do about this ?

sincerely Divine 277
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Post by Divine 277 03.10.10 9:13

one more thing i forgot to ask .....

Isn't there anything you would like to do whit you life ?
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Post by Victor 03.10.10 14:53

Do you really think an Asetian would join an internet forum to ask humans for help on metaphysics? Especially a Viperine?
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Post by Divine 277 03.10.10 15:30

Victor wrote:Do you really think an Asetian would join an internet forum to ask humans for help on metaphysics? Especially a Viperine?


I'm not saying I believe anything, Im just saying that if he wants, I can listen.....
But I never said I did believe him....

But then again I dint say, I did eater....

so what makes you ask the question ?

Sincerely Divine 277
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Post by Divine 277 04.10.10 1:40

This is what I wrote in my intro...

I'm curious by nature, and open for whatever comes my way...

BUT I DON'T believe everything I hear or read,
I do respect the writer and do believe that what the person is saying, is what THEY believe to be true,( in some causes),
and I can have a dialog about it, whit out being disrespectful.

Sincerely Divine 277
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Post by Am I real 04.10.10 6:01

Victor wrote:Do you really think an Asetian would join an internet forum to ask humans for help on metaphysics? Especially a Viperine?
[color=red
Accualy I was under the impression that this was a true forum as I've even felt to sign up to one before but this one seems to hold various aspects in which I can relate no I do yet posses the AB as I have only just found out about the asetians within the last week but from what I have been reading most makes sense like putting the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle back together to show the picture hidden deep with in the mess. There are few that claim they but they seem more like they are imitating than real. I knew about the akhkharu from with last years studies at the beginning I didn't know of what words I was to use all I had was vampyre vampyric or as newer text vampire vampiric.

I am not here for any debates only to learn about the way I am and why to find my deeper understanding of ones self and if you say I am what you say I sound like then it make sense I've never had good relations with my family always been distant with all but I still am in contact I see them 4-8 times a year unless they see me but they don't get on well with me or me with them so I ain't bothered as I like my own space I prefer the night to the day and I hold the moon above the sun I also wear silver as I don't really like gold but have a couple of gold coins for other reasons I have always felt like a black sheep of the world never got on with anyone except a select few if any other tries to go against my beliefs I can't control my rage from exploding yet I don't remember what happens next I can only hear it I don't really if you think I am this or that but the one things that always has boiled my blood and makes me go dizzy with rage is being classed as fumeman being I just can't stand for it I hate with all my soul it repels me I hate being around them but there is so many and they coat there flesh with poison and the fumes taste foul I have hyper sensitive ears eyes and sense of smell along with very good taste but even tho I feel a deep urge from my inner soul telling me I am I still think what if I am just insane and I got to take a leap from faith I let go of the string of life and jump forward and I go to far and feed to much in my evolution because of my ultimate desire for blood is far greater than that of psy as it taste bloody amazing feels 10x as good is so much faster at absorbing life force that if I set go I am not to shore far I will go and if they will send me to a funny farm being different from their species what is need is when I do my ritual is to have an elder or another who is experiencing what I am to go all the way for I don't know it hold for me and am still confused about my soul felling to this if you do know maybe could give me some insight to ease me into the leap from faith

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Post by Am I real 04.10.10 6:03

Victor wrote:Do you really think an Asetian would join an internet forum to ask humans for help on metaphysics? Especially a Viperine?

[color=red]actualy I was under the impression that this was a true forum as I've even felt to sign up to one before but this one seems to hold various aspects in which I can relate no I do yet posses the AB as I have only just found out about the asetians within the last week but from what I have been reading most makes sense like putting the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle back together to show the picture hidden deep with in the mess. There are few that claim they but they seem more like they are imitating than real. I knew about the akhkharu from with last years studies at the beginning I didn't know of what words I was to use all I had was vampyre vampyric or as newer text vampire vampiric.

I am not here for any debates only to learn about the way I am and why to find my deeper understanding of ones self and if you say I am what you say I sound like then it make sense I've never had good relations with my family always been distant with all but I still am in contact I see them 4-8 times a year unless they see me but they don't get on well with me or me with them so I ain't bothered as I like my own space I prefer the night to the day and I hold the moon above the sun I also wear silver as I don't really like gold but have a couple of gold coins for other reasons I have always felt like a black sheep of the world never got on with anyone except a select few if any other tries to go against my beliefs I can't control my rage from exploding yet I don't remember what happens next I can only hear it I don't really if you think I am this or that but the one things that always has boiled my blood and makes me go dizzy with rage is being classed as fumeman being I just can't stand for it I hate with all my soul it repels me I hate being around them but there is so many and they coat there flesh with poison and the fumes taste foul I have hyper sensitive ears eyes and sense of smell along with very good taste but even tho I feel a deep urge from my inner soul telling me I am I still think what if I am just insane and I got to take a leap from faith I let go of the string of life and jump forward and I go to far and feed to much in my evolution because of my ultimate desire for blood is far greater than that of psy as it taste bloody amazing feels 10x as good is so much faster at absorbing life force that if I set go I am not to shore far I will go and if they will send me to a funny farm being different from their species what is need is when I do my ritual is to have an elder or another who is experiencing what I am to go all the way for I don't know it hold for me and am still confused about my soul felling to this if you do know maybe could give me some insight to ease me into the leap from faith

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Post by Victor 04.10.10 6:47

You found out about the Asetians within a week, and haven't even read the published texts on their tradition, history and practices, like the Asetian Bible, yet you join a forum dedicated to Asetianism and Vampirism stating that you are an Asetian and, surprisingly, your partner is also one. Isn't that fascinating...

Sometimes we get reminded why Asetians stopped bothering with mortals several centuries ago.

I'll just dismiss the whole second paragraph as a whole, given that it is just an insult to my eyes. You write a huge paragraph without one single hint of punctuation. If you're so careless not to bother to even put some basic effort on your explanations while asking for help, I don't think that deserves any form of attention, wasting precious time being read.

Oh, and for the record, Asetians always capitalize the initial A when referring to their own kin.
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Post by N.Augusta 04.10.10 7:54

N... pulls of Victors' shirt sleeve and whispers, "It was Moonie who said he/she and partner are both Asetians, not this one."

Am I real: I could not make it through your posts, it was killing my eyes.
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Post by Nebibi 04.10.10 8:28

I have been on this forum for a year, and frankly this is the lowest point it has been. Its like you guys aren't even trying. If it aggravates you that someone is making ludicrous claims, then simply ignore them. Your silence will in turn silence them. Please, I once loved coming to this forum to ask for advice and to see what new observations and discussions were being made. Now I have to sift through the, excuse my language, garbage in order to get to the most minute form of knowledge of advice.
People who once wrote very interesting, helpful and enlightening posts now have to waste their time with all this stupidity. I simply ask that we return to the path this forum was on, where respect was abundant and knowledge was key.

This forum had something that other forums lacked and could envy, honor and respect. Lets bring that back. Shall we?
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Post by Nebibi 04.10.10 8:29

I meant knowledge or advice, instead of knowledge of advice.
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Post by N.Augusta 04.10.10 8:36

Ivy,

Thank you for your post, I could not have said it better myself. I agree with you 100%.

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Post by Daniel09 04.10.10 9:39

Ok, here's my advice. There is nothing special that is related to Asetianism in any of the traits and experiences you posted, "Am I Real."

Life is not dealt in specialties of existence and non-specialties. Whether you are human or Asetian, you should be dealing with life in the same fashion, trying to evolve as a being here. It literally does not matter what your sense of smell is or how much you want blood, what others think about you.

Your life is yours for living, and living it for a label does nothing to help anything. Just find a semblance of happiness and stick to it.
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Post by Syrianeh 04.10.10 9:55

Ivy: I just read this after I wrote a very similar post. Very very well put.
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Post by Nebibi 04.10.10 9:56

Wink
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Post by Victor 04.10.10 10:02

N.Augusta wrote:N... pulls of Victors' shirt sleeve and whispers, "It was Moonie who said he/she and partner are both Asetians, not this one."

Am I real: I could not make it through your posts, it was killing my eyes.
You're right, my mistake. I guess the post with lack of punctuation fried my aged brain.
Anyways, the points are still valid for many that come here, wether they express their ego so blatantly (and ignorantly) as Moonie or not.
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Post by Helliana 04.10.10 10:03

I most certainly agree with the words you both have voiced, Ivy and Syrianeh. It's refreshing for such opinions to be spoken here, especially well written.
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Post by Am I real 27.10.10 8:27

Victor wrote:You found out about the Asetians within a week, and haven't even read the published texts on their tradition, history and practices, like the Asetian Bible, yet you join a forum dedicated to Asetianism and Vampirism stating that you are an Asetian and, surprisingly, your partner is also one. Isn't that fascinating...

Sometimes we get reminded why Asetians stopped bothering with mortals several centuries ago.

I'll just dismiss the whole second paragraph as a whole, given that it is just an insult to my eyes. You write a huge paragraph without one single hint of punctuation. If you're so careless not to bother to even put some basic effort on your explanations while asking for help, I don't think that deserves any form of attention, wasting precious time being read.

Oh, and for the record, Asetians always capitalize the initial A when referring to their own kin.

I have never stated I am an Asetian nor shall I. Most arround put hate and, fear and doubt towards me I have had this since forever, but yet it makes me stronger as I feed on this and laugh.

Also has anyone seen the shadow man? He came to me as a child and taught me things about life most do not see.

I find alot of things on here that I hold for more knowledge.

Victor your ignorance makes me laugh you actually say your an Asetian yet I do not so I ask you this do you have a twisted tooth it's razor sharp and is the Colour of the moon shine if not I have nothing more to say to you on this subject as for the rest I am not shore as we haven't spoken enough for me to comment. as for my tooth it got chipped and is most displeasing but such as life.

I have at last found others who share the same interests as me, so if you nothing more to say from your personal experiences instead of making quotations out of a book that is not from your own knowledge but of someone elses you most probably are never going to move forward but be stuck at the sign oat the cross road so enjoy you life with that.

I personally cannot stop absorbing more info of personal experiences also from feeding my mind with new and past times to fully understand and edjust to it all before my assent where other before me have done so.

I never get angry or annoyed just listen to your comments to bigger ones self image to make others follow down your weary road so I ask you victor what blood fest do you attend and are you truly in the high circle or just a mere mortal wishing for something more???


Also I said with in the last week I only had a few names to go on maybe you should read things more thoroughly before you make a quotation.

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Post by Jonathan 27.10.10 9:06

Humm... a mental institution might be able to help you.

Just saying.
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Post by Daniel09 27.10.10 10:38

I think there was no real point in making that banter red. The kinds of things you are talking about are fairy tale-like vampires. Guess what? This happens to be the real world.
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Post by Am I real 27.10.10 16:51

Daniel09 wrote:I think there was no real point in making that banter red. The kinds of things you are talking about are fairy tale-like vampires. Guess what? This happens to be the real world.

Guess what you need to wake up I live in the real world and it's cold my people are not fairy tails the tooth doesn't grow like in movies but is how I stated and twisted is not coiled it's what the tooth s named a twisted tooth you usually only have one and it's razor sharp so please do not qoute on something in which you do not have knowledge about I find it highly insulting that you would class truth as fiction the only ones who do this are either human or ones with lack of understanding of other breeds.( I still refuse to say Asetian as it just feels like there is something missing )

As for the mental home well why are you here if you Insult the old species you should try a mental home Jonathan for your a lost human seeking for the unknown yet it's been known since the beginning and manipulated in text.

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Post by Am I real 27.10.10 16:56

Jonathan wrote:Humm... a mental institution might be able to help you.

Just saying.
As for the mental home well why are you here if you Insult the old species you should try a mental home Jonathan for your a lost human seeking for the unknown yet it's been known since the beginning and manipulated in text.

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