What do we seek?

I wanted to share an insight.

When we realize life cannot be just this, and we start craving for more, that is the moment we step into new ways of growing.
We feel, we need to find something, The something.

Through many challenges we try to solve our own misteries, and it is painful, not always a pleasant experience. We begin questioning, and facing our own demons in the quest for inner grow, in the quest for Being.

We read, we research we try many types of religion, phylosophies, traditions...
We go from moments of beliefs and doubts. We think we re sure, and the next moment we abandon. We come to the surface to creath, and then we go back down to the deep waters.

Spiritual quest, is not easy. It would be much more comfortable to just act like there is nothing else, or get to accept the basic that is presented to us through dogmas, stories, history. But when we feel, and we decide to go after our answers, we burn into the most potent alchemical fire.

We begin opening our eyes, we begin seeing reality as it really is, and that makes us feel in a world apart. We are sensitive to many things that happen around us. Many things that would be described as 'out of this world" because it can be perceived by some people, aware of the surroundings, the energy and the reality, are, or at least should be, something natural.

Being a manifestaton of something much more Powerful, Divine, we mirror It, Being it.

Experiencing Itself, this Energy , The Source, lives, and it is not different from what and who we are.

There are many theories, texts, practices, rituals, concepts, talking about this, we all know, specially because I realize that we are here, interacting in this forum, for example, because we are seeking something else. So, existing so many and diverse ways of interpreting our reality, there is no absolute Truth.

We just feel, when something speaks directly to our Soul, to our Inner Energy. We can feel when there is something to be learned from what happens to us, being good or bad experiences.

We all grow in our quest, we all learn and we all teach.

I think it is hard, at least for me, to get linked to a unique concept or definition, and I`ve had personal problems when dealing with it years ago. Diversity in the way of thinking and feeling things. Not being closed to a unique system or concept, made me feel lost. Thinking that something was wrong, and I was an indecisive person.

Nowadays, I realize, at least for this moment I am living, that there is a reason for that. As there is a reason for each individual to follow a Path.

An eternal student, just sharing.

We come to the surface to breath *

I began "growing" very young, perhaps around 8. The earliest memory I can recall was a sense of not being like the rest of humanity. I don't remember how young I was, but I remember being quite young, falling asleep in the back of the car and asking my parents, my mother mostly as she was in the front passenger seat, "do you feel like I do?". What I meant related to my perceptions, my inner indescribable feeling of what I am, at my core. I didn't fully understand it then, and I still can't wholly put it to words, but I feel it relates to my vampirism a little, and my nonhuman identity a lot. I experienced mild mental shifts throughout my childhood, but recall my first phantom limb(s) around 8. I recall more moderate mental shifts around 10, and general "awakening", craving and seeking knowlege about 14 or so. I'm still searching but the drive, the actual propulsion towards knowledge has been burning out as I get older. I can't accept "It just is", I strongly desire answers, but I'm losing faith, losing interest, losing any real desire to fulfill myself.

Lynskha, good post, true I do believe it to be. I had written something yesterday in response to this topic but deleted it before I had sent it due to not being so very accurate in my wordings of philosophical ideas in regards to this. But I would say that it is a good post, unfortunately I do not have that much more to add.

A.Nightside, what do you mean by mental shifts? Do you mean what the otherkin community means when using that word? In that case, I have experienced many similar things. I have even manifested lycanthropic behaviours, snarling, howling, in mental shifts propelled by flight or fight responses. I would physically become a lot more potentially aggressive in a defencive manner, and thereby a bit stronger I would suppose, but primarily a lot more aggressive in the way described. I would feel in a non-human state of mind and even act like an animal physically. Now, after my Christendom, I have stopped those behaviours because of having other expectations on me from higher powers as it were. But now, yet again, recently, they have emerged, erupted once more and I no longer repress those instincts. But they are a lot more mild now than they used to be. I may have the mental state of a serpent, or a chimerical mixture between some predatory animals such as bears, wolves and large cat creatures. How would you define your mental shifts? I ask out of sheer interest, of course.

I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me. But then again, I am not absolutely certain about my vampirism if it is just some kind of metaphysical illness or if it is real. But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that. Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.

I'm still searching but the drive, the actual propulsion towards knowledge has been burning out as I get older. I can't accept "It just is", I strongly desire answers, but I'm losing faith, losing interest, losing any real desire to fulfill myself.

A.Nightside , thank you for opening about what happened to you. Your mental shifts, and the difficulties in finding in others what you used to feel.

I believe, many here understand what you mean. Even if from a simple different point of view, we know, we sense we have a different way of seeing the world, and interpreting it, as we tend to be more sensitive. And by "we" I mean, the ones who go beyond the layer of illusion that this world has.

People seeking for more, wanting answers, do tend to see and feel more, and that ends up making us different, where the tendency, from a very young age, is to make us feel weird, not comfortable.

The others looking at us , like we were "aliens" , from questioning. From bringing up questions a "regular" kid just wouldn't.

From what you said above, I believe many go through this state of going and coming, the ups and downs, and they are all part of our Journey. We have moments where everything is calm, and the next second our Universe is shaken.
We have times we seek, and trust, believe, and others where we just need to be away from everything.

Just keep going, be strong. Everything is part of the learning.

I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me

That is very interesting you mentioned. I believe you could try to explore to better understand, feeling it.

Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.

we are all strange heheheh, It is good we have these questions, Why? One day we are ok with a simple answer, and the next day we wake up chaotic, Why? and then a lot of thoughts just come to mind. I thinkI undestand a bit of wht you said. feeling different, maybe because we see that many of them are just trapped in this ilusion.

But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that

I believe that is why we are here. Looking for ways of knowing ourselves. =)

Cheers mate.

cheers! Let's drink from the Ab-i-Hayat ! hehehe

MysticLightShinethForth wrote:
A.Nightside, what do you mean by mental shifts? Do you mean what the otherkin community means when using that word? In that case, I have experienced many similar things. I have even manifested lycanthropic behaviours, snarling, howling, in mental shifts propelled by flight or fight responses. I would physically become a lot more potentially aggressive in a defencive manner, and thereby a bit stronger I would suppose, but primarily a lot more aggressive in the way described. I would feel in a non-human state of mind and even act like an animal physically. Now, after my Christendom, I have stopped those behaviours because of having other expectations on me from higher powers as it were. But now, yet again, recently, they have emerged, erupted once more and I no longer repress those instincts. But they are a lot more mild now than they used to be. I may have the mental state of a serpent, or a chimerical mixture between some predatory animals such as bears, wolves and large cat creatures. How would you define your mental shifts? I ask out of sheer interest, of course.

What do I mean? Yes, by the definition held by the general Therian and Otherkin communities, a Shift is a sensation in which one more-strongly experiences themselves as the animal they identify. Not all therians/Otherkin experiences shifts. Shifts can range from mental which may involve changes in sensory perceptions - ie, sense of hearing improves over other senses, keeping in mind that these sensory changes are still within the realms of human physical capacity and that when one sense impoves, an other may be sacrificed; changes in thought patters - where one may normally think in normal terms, during a shift one may be more prone to fight or flight responses, instinctual urges and thought processes simplify toward that more akin to what a nonhuman animal might (though the exception being that not all identify as Earthly animals and therefore not all mental processes simplify from the complexity of human mind, but could even become more complex), they can take the form of supernumerary phantom limb sensations, they can involve projections/out of body experiences where one experiences their projected self as the animal or creature they identify as, and so on.

I am generally prone to expressions not considered "typical" of your average human, such as what you mention, but I have self control and am at least physically human. I know better. Typically such mannerisms can be chalked up as simple individual quirks, but during a shift, yes they can be more difficult to control, or downplay.

It's important to understand however that shifts are not always triggered nor represented by heightened emotional states. If you find yourself more anxious (aggressive, defensive), while that could be part of it, it could also indicate something else, such as an anxiety or disassociative disorder of some kind.

It's also important to understand that humans are animals, and some consider predators. Many thoughts or behaviours one might attribute to "nonhuman" animals, are also shared by humans too. I would research, both suspected kin/theriotypes to see if anything fits accurately to your nature, how you experience your -self-, but also research on what it really is/means to be therian or otherkin. One can have an over active imagination, one can have a totem who for whatever reason decides to communicate through shift-like sensations (sort of a "power animal" kind of deal). Other possible explanations exist, exhausting all avenues to find the best fitting one, is my advice.

MysticLightShinethForth wrote:I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me. But then again, I am not absolutely certain about my vampirism if it is just some kind of metaphysical illness or if it is real. But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that. Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.

Auto-feeding is possible (the state in which the body naturally "feeds" generally with the individual being oblivious to it), but generally occurs more for "latent" (if you even believe in such a thing) or starving "vampires". There is always a natural cycling of energy, in a city, or other active places, sure, the energy may be more "charged" but you should also take into account more obvious factors. Lights, sounds, people. Humans are social creatures, even those with anxiety or who may be introverted, interaction with other people or being around other people can trigger hormone production which makes one feel more energized (even if that "energy" is directed negatively in more of a fear response) or strengthened. Lights and sounds may trigger brain and hormonal responses.

A majority of the members in this forum, those who study/practice Asetianism consider the "vampires" and definition of that you find from the Vampire community a "metaphysical illness" and indeed this is essentially what I initially subscribed to, and largely still do. However, I am open minded and I am familiar with vampires of the "Community" associating more than just "a need to feed" with their label of vampire (or other alternative label they might decide on given "vampire" being a bit of a misleading term with it's additional connotations), so I am curious about vampirism in terms of the occult, and the Asetians' view of such as well. An alternative to "illness" or condition being that we are beigns who may not originate from Earth but from places, planes or what-have-you of higher energy density (for want of a better description). In this way, while there is nothing wrong with us, our [metaphysical] bodies must be maintained through additional efforts on our part, called "feeding".

As it stands for myself, Vampirism does not make me nonhuman. I do not hold the belief that my need to take energy (and/or blood) from outside of myself makes me nonhuman. However, the possibility exists that in being nonhuman, such a state causes me the need to feed. I generally consider my vampirism and nonhuman identity to be seperate things, only possibly related but not confirmed as such just yet.

One can be vampire without identifying as nonhuman in some way. One can identify as nonhuman in some way without a need to feed.

A. Nightside, I enjoyed very much to read what you posted above. Very interesting, I got in contact with some theories, a long time ago, the broken chackra, for example.
For years, that was one of the few I had an idea to deal with the subject.
Like you said, an "illness" , however I always had in mind that, there could be something more than that.
When reading Asetian Bible, I could find better explanation for it. At least, one that aligned to what I thought.

Very interesting what you mentioned about the vampirism and nonhuman identity as separate things, at least for now .

A. Nightshade.  

I will throw this out for just consideration.  Only my view.  Has no sock puppet material.  No worries.

Over eons of time we each have returned to this planet living lives we designed before entering the experience with much help from others as well as other higher beings.  The manufacturing base keeps getting better and better at this.  All designed to elevate the soul.

Using past life regression, many are now seeing lives that were lived as sea creatures, rocks, flowers,  insects, animals.......animals.  That last step up from animal to human is what I am thinking of.  If one would recently have stepped up into the human experience from an animal experience, some of that might be flowing over at times.  I say this because of the gay gender issue.  I believe a gay male with female motions and thoughts lived more immediate lives as a female gender person.  Then when choosing the male body for this life, the previous experiences expand over into the present life.   The same happens when the female is gay as she has lived more immediate lives in the body of the male.  These illustrations are not for every life that demonstrates these characteristics but most of them in my opinion.  Some of the individuals I have discussed this with seem to actively agree with this line of thinking after consideration of it for a while.

The dreams of otherkin in the night time are bleedovers from previous exsitence from the animal kingdom as that soul had experienced.  I have had these myself as a wolflike creature that tore another person to pieces and killed them.  Although I have experienced this several times I do not consider myself otherkin.  I am human experiencing many different lifestyles on this planet as that is what a soul is here for.  When we have reached a higher education with this type of progress we will move out into other universes to experience more in different manners to grow.   The soul is ever progressing higher.  

This is why, I personally, do not hold the topic of Vampirism of very much importance.  It is only one small aspect of our entire makeup as we go about living and growing and experiencing all we are a part of here on this planet.

Rarely does a high school senior that is graduating chose to return back to the second grade for more experience.   By this I mean rarely does a human chose to return to a life of being a part of the animal kingdom after reaching the human element.

My belief from the above statements will show my thoughts that all creation will have souls....plants, animals, humans.   We all evolve.

Maxx, nice thoughts you shared.

Personally I am interested in the layer of vampirism, but seeing it from a different perspective, a deeper one. Not just the first layer of feeding, manipulating energy, Lineage/castes conception.

It is a topic that interests me for many reasons. However, I do agree with you, about it being just an small aspet of a person entire story.

It may be one of the multiple layers we have, we live and we vibrate. One that, is important in its charateristics, as it helps to better understand somethings that people experience, due to this "condition" , however it would be a mistake to be stagnated in this concept, of " I am a vampire" and just that.

What I found to be interesting in this forum, people in the Asetianism studies, and Asetianism itself, is that it explores it in a more mature, deep way. Not getting restrict to the vampire thing, and period.

I also agree with you, we experience , we learn, we move forward, sometimes, having to revisit some concepts, review lessons, that will help us better understand this eternal journey.

It is beautiful to see this Djehuty of the Serpent, bringing people to awake, to seek for this development. Vampires specially, aren't different, being even more affected due to its... own needs and agenda.

My flying fingers made a mistake.

I meant to type A. Nightside.

At my age, I can have several excuses and get away with all of them.......

A. NightSide, thank you for insightful responses.

Maxx, also some points of view there that might be noteworthy.

I wished I had more to contribute, but I am as of yet only learning. I learn in different spheres, too.

Maxx wrote:My flying fingers made a mistake.

I meant to type A. Nightside.

At my age, I can have several excuses and get away with all of them.......

*grins* All good, sir. There was a time the mistake would bother me, but not any longer. You're certainly not the first, nor the last to make the mistake. You're also not the only to make the mistake in this forum (:

Maxx wrote:A. Nightshade.  

I will throw this out for just consideration.  Only my view.  Has no sock puppet material.  No worries.

To be honest, after I used the term myself, I questioned and now am not so sure what that term really means XD I mean of course I'm going to repeat some of the basic information I started with from the beginning that I still hold to be true, but it's not like I'm speaking FOR anyone but myself or my experience, at least in this current context, and no one feeds me information, or tells me what to say. I am just generally paranoid of people, even people I've grown to like (even trust) looking down on me, or lumping me in some negative like through some mistake or miswording of mine. It's an insecurity, likely irrational, no actual offense or belief that I represent the term.

Over eons of time we each have returned to this planet living lives we designed before entering the experience with much help from others as well as other higher beings.  The manufacturing base keeps getting better and better at this.  All designed to elevate the soul.

If we designed our lives, how do you account for dysphoria? Why would we choose to have ourselves suffer? I mean, sure, lessons learned, but I really don't think anyone, even an incorporeal being, can account for everything before it happens.

I am mildly familiar with the belief that we choose our lives. Whether that is an informed decision or not, I wonder and I experience too much of an overwhelming "trapped" or "forced to be here" sort of feeling to really consider it definitively the case for myself.

Using past life regression, many are now seeing lives that were lived as sea creatures, rocks, flowers,  insects, animals.......animals.  That last step up from animal to human is what I am thinking of.  

If we choose our lives, are you also saying that we have limited choices? Like we can only choose within the category of "step" we've reached? .. Like, if I've already lived life as a non-insect animal, then does that mean I was restricted to choosing only a human life?

If one would recently have stepped up into the human experience from an animal experience, some of that might be flowing over at times.  

This is indeed, this is one theory (/hypothesis/speculation) behind some spiritual therian's origin (of identity?), but there can be more to it than that... For one, there are many therians who claim multiple past lives as animals, and therefore idenitfying as multiple animals; or others who only identify as one or two of the animals (or entities) they've lived as, but not all. Then you have many non-therians as well who claim to have had past lives as animals but do not identify as therian now.

Why some lives bleed over, but others don't is a question I tend to raise, but so far no one has a working idea, or even guess, as to why this is. You suggest that it's the most recent, but this can't be the case always, since some identify as multiple different animals (or entities).

I say this because of the gay gender issue.  I believe a gay male with female motions and thoughts lived more immediate lives as a female gender person.  Then when choosing the male body for this life, the previous experiences expand over into the present life.   The same happens when the female is gay as she has lived more immediate lives in the body of the male.

 

Sexual orientation is not the same as gender. Though I do understand what you're saying. Identifying as female in a male body doesn't make him/her gay. Being one gender and feeling sexual attractions to that same gender (or I suppose sex may work in this too), makes one gay.

These illustrations are not for every life that demonstrates these characteristics but most of them in my opinion.  Some of the individuals I have discussed this with seem to actively agree with this line of thinking after consideration of it for a while.

I'm glad you state this. I apologize for my generalized responses. I do agree that this can't be the case for everyone, though indeed I don't wholly disagree with you, as this is definitely a possible and familiar explanation, for some.

The dreams of otherkin in the night time are bleedovers from previous exsitence from the animal kingdom as that soul had experienced.  I have had these myself as a wolflike creature that tore another person to pieces and killed them.  Although I have experienced this several times I do not consider myself otherkin.  I am human experiencing many different lifestyles on this planet as that is what a soul is here for.  When we have reached a higher education with this type of progress we will move out into other universes to experience more in different manners to grow.   The soul is ever progressing higher.  

The defining characteristic of an Otherkin or Therian, is identifying as nonhuman. Dream are just dreams otherwise (even if you do feel that dreams are more than just dreams, such as memories). Having a dream, having a memory, or whatever, doesn't make one nonhuman either.

This is why, I personally, do not hold the topic of Vampirism of very much importance.  It is only one small aspect of our entire makeup as we go about living and growing and experiencing all we are a part of here on this planet.

Very much agreed.

Rarely does a high school senior that is graduating chose to return back to the second grade for more experience.   By this I mean rarely does a human chose to return to a life of being a part of the animal kingdom after reaching the human element.

A majority (this may be an exaggeration but I can look up a few official polls/census(es?) if you wish) of Otherkin and Therians would choose to go back if they could. At the same time, more than not, we grow up and realize it's impossible and learn to live the life we're given (or chose as the case may be). Some indeed prefer life as a human, but still experience levels of dysmorphia and dysphoria in relation to their species identity

My belief from the above statements will show my thoughts that all creation will have souls....plants, animals, humans.   We all evolve.

Not all Therians/Otherkin are spiritual. I suppose I'm spiritual, but on the fence as far as personal belief in souls and what exactly they are.

I apologize if breaking your response down into parts makes things more difficult or comes off badly. I'm extremely tired and fighting a migraine among other pains right now, it was just the easiest way to keep my thoughts in order and make as much sense as I could. My brain's starting to hate me for not letting it rest.

Maxx, while I can agree that some of us have influence or decision over aspects of our reincarnations, I don't agree that we have designed our lives. That would completely remove free will which is essential to growth and spiritual evolution. It would also mean that every time we mess up that was already intended by design, if one is a serial killer poor him he was just designed to behave that way. That's not true since we are responsible for choices we make and for how we learn from many of those lessons in life when we fall. Sometimes we learn right at the first obstacle but other times we need to fall time and time again to really learn it. I understand your view when you see life as a vehicle for higher transcendence but that tool would be meaningless if we had designed all those experiences before reincarnating.

Sorry for being so brief in my reply to what can be a complex subject but I'm kind of in a middle of something important right now.

All major events we designed with the help from some others.  People born with all kinds of physical problems chose to experience this....One will design good things and good times as well as bad things and bad times as well.  We all do it.  No exception.   Have you ever talked with a spirit guide or so-called angel to ask about things such as this or has this been formed because of reading material or listening to someone else make statements like you asked and it sounded as the best solution at that time. Actually, some that have the ability to visit each night out of their body and have a daily discussion with those beings that helped with the design......and remember it all the next day have an advantage over most others.  

No, I did not say that.   One can choose to go backward if wanting to but that rarely ever happens.

Understand we possibly travel in a different type of group with very different ideas or concepts.   Do you really believe all those individuals that you refer to relating their experience to reflect their statement as being accurate in all those cases?   I probably do not.  But that is everyone's choice to accept or reject as they feel fit.  As I said, in the beginning, I only offer this as my suggestion as it tends to more closely reflect the possibility of that bleedover that I would tend to experience.  If one recognizes that everyone is completely different with the total experiences in one life that are many variables that could affect this.

The gay gender issue statement I remember getting that from a spirit being in a discussion.  I did not read it out of a book.  It did stand out and that is how I remembered it from the past.   And as I state, this is not the reason in every case that this appears.

I feel we do have a very different outlook on the various types of dream activity.   I have had various beings come and take me out of body to accomplish different things or to show me different things.  These are not memory items in any way.  All I am doing is more and more asking for confirmation on anything and everything that I participate in and with.  I did an hour-long radio interview show last night and I made it a point to say how much I put more faith in confirmation one time or even more so, rather than just put forth an idea. I need to find the answer in many different ways rather than just accept an idea as gospel or because so many others believe something that way.  An example is William Peter Blatty blasting Malichi Martin for putting his book out at the same time that the movie the Exorcist was released.  Blatty was saying that Martin was using his movie to sell books.   Martin came back and said that the difference here is that one of us only reads about it while the other has vast hands on experience.   Blatty shut up quickly.  But as far as lives connecting to dreams or memories, one will not be living but one existence at a time and will not be crossing back and forth of that barrier.......unless it is experienced in the spirit realm or astral - ether area.   This is the area that the actual Vampire will manifest anyway.  And the reason so many coming into this forum are not taken seriously in the first place.  They attach their Vampire experience to the physical.  I say they also love their movie memories.

And if I spent all my time here thinking and reading and living as a Vampire in the physical realm, I would waste so much important time in this lifespan that could be directed in much more quality experiences and learning.  I believe the time spent in learning how to be in touch with other realms and beings with higher intelligence would be a much better payoff than that.

But everyone has free choice so I will explain how a being explained it  (free choice)   It is like I am walking along a beautiful path in a marvelous meadow on a wonderful day.  I have a sort of direction I was told to follow in order to get to my finish destination.  I look up into the near distance to see a very thick and dark forest that my path leads into.  One path going in and it appears that is the entrance to take to get to the other side.   As I enter the forest I look and see the path turns into junctions of other paths branching off of the one path.  There are no indications of which is to be the best one to take.  No matter which one you will select to take these also will branch off to show many other paths to take.  Any one path you choose to take will put you in touch with many different people and experiences and you will have to have many different changes to adapt to.  One thing with all of this confusion is that all of the paths you look at will take you to the end of that other side of the dark forest.  they all come out at the place where that exits out of the forest and opens back up into a wonderful meadow again.   This is just like returning home again.   But there exists free choice in all the selections you make.


Now to address the next section I will have to re-visit my question to you as.......do you believe all these individuals to be truthful in their story.  Also, any concepts they are living come from the groups around them and their influence on them.  In my opinion, and mine only, I view it as the illustration of many delusional beings living in a hospital wing under treatment influencing each other.   But, not many will agree with me. Just ask those in the hospital wing?   I view many living around us today as totally living in a delusional forest land or a hospital wing claiming they are sane.


What is spiritual?   How are you using the word?   Everyone is half spirit and half physical.  Adapting to living an accurate balance is one thing we all seek while we are here.  

Sorry I did not have time to box this story....hope it is not too confusing.

Jonathan, appreciate your reply and so glad you entered. I read it all and I must say that my choices are based on not only the study of the written word but of interaction with the other areas and beings as well as my personal experiences.

I do follow what I wrote but I can understand why you write what you do. And the free choice issue I have made an illustration of the forest that explains that totally. Thanks. Come back with more conversation when you find time. You stay away too much.

Jonathan.....I will make it a little easier. Maybe I did not make it very clear....sometimes I am very bad with that.

We design our lives with all MAJOR happenings to ensure that we can experience that which we want to accomplish whether it is harsh or comfortable.

All the minor things have an experience all their own

Everyone has complete free choice.

I can say I enjoy a lot reading what I can find here in this forum.

I believe we have free will, maybe like Jonathan said, we have influence over what we are going to experience here, but not fully designed.

I think it was a good example of the forest and the different paths leading out of it.

One day I had a mental image of a mountain. Everyone going up, in different stages, parts of it, some at the beginning, others in the middle, as people went walking around it, they could see different landscape around, beautiful ones, not so beautiful ones. Parts of sunny areas, others cloudy. Rain, snow, heat, cold... Some were trying to return down, others were falling.

Some trying to climb using ropes, others trying to fly...

Each one trying to describe what they went through, what they were seeing, what they were expecting.

All, climbing the same mountain, all feeling from different aspects...

I don't know, just a mental image I got. Everyone traveling a Journey, with the tools, equipment. Some with more, others with nothing. But that is just part of each one experience.

We can make a turn, make a decision, and that may change everything.

There are specific things that we may have, some "basic" layers, while others open an infinite list of possibilities.

Something Maxx mentioned

And if I spent all my time here thinking and reading and living as a Vampire in the physical realm, I would waste so much important time in this lifespan that could be directed in much more quality experiences and learning

Getting too attatched to the archetype, or idea of the vampire, as well as any other thing, would be limiting our own capacity, so I agree with you, when you say we can direct ourselves to much better experiences of inner growing.

Many come with the vampirism idea at the first time, others because of occult practices, but the main topic that usually brings people to this kind of forum, is vampirism.

I always find a good thing when people can see beyond this layer.

However It is from every person, to step into other ways of seing it. Some will just stay in the first layer, and the practice of vampirism as they identify themselves with "just" that. Others wil just embrace the fashion and pop world.
But there are those who seek more and understand that "vampirism" has a particular definition, not only about the "need" of the energy, but also in the way the Soul vibrates.

Well, this is just a personal view.

I've been feeling like this for a long time, but sometimes it feels like I hit a wall or a plateau and lose all sense for a while.
I'm getting both irritated and hungry for more. More experience. More understanding.
It's not a fun time to go about in this world looking for things you really need, when everything and most people are so basal and mundane. When everyone has this amazing potential they don't care to attempt to reach, then market their dogma to you like they're being paid.
Yikes.
Then again, that's why this journey is of the Self.
We can make it on our own, can't we?

It's not a fun time to go about in this world looking for things you really need, when everything and most people are so basal and mundane

Hello. Yes I have to agree with you, not funny, and we can say it is actually really hard.

It is much more comfortable to keep in the safe zone, so when we decide to go after answers it is usually a long and hard Journey, but a worthy one.

I understand what you say, when you mention these cravings for more. I really wish you good luck in your Journey, be strong.

Lynskha wrote:

It's not a fun time to go about in this world looking for things you really need, when everything and most people are so basal and mundane

Hello. Yes I have to agree with you, not funny, and we can say it is actually really hard.

It is much more comfortable to keep in the safe zone, so when we decide to go after answers it is usually a long and hard Journey, but a worthy one.

I understand what you say, when you mention these cravings for more. I really wish you good luck in your Journey, be strong.

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you the same in kind.