What do we seek?

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What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha on 14.11.17 6:46

I wanted to share an insight.

When we realize life cannot be just this, and we start craving for more, that is the moment we step into new ways of growing.
We feel, we need to find something, The something.

Through many challenges we try to solve our own misteries, and it is painful, not always a pleasant experience. We begin questioning, and facing our own demons in the quest for inner grow, in the quest for Being.

We read, we research we try many types of religion, phylosophies, traditions...
We go from moments of beliefs and doubts. We think we re sure, and the next moment we abandon. We come to the surface to creath, and then we go back down to the deep waters.

Spiritual quest, is not easy. It would be much more comfortable to just act like there is nothing else, or get to accept the basic that is presented to us through dogmas, stories, history. But when we feel, and we decide to go after our answers, we burn into the most potent alchemical fire.

We begin opening our eyes, we begin seeing reality as it really is, and that makes us feel in a world apart. We are sensitive to many things that happen around us. Many things that would be described as 'out of this world" because it can be perceived by some people, aware of the surroundings, the energy and the reality, are, or at least should be, something natural.

Being a manifestaton of something much more Powerful, Divine, we mirror It, Being it.

Experiencing Itself, this Energy , The Source, lives, and it is not different from what and who we are.

There are many theories, texts, practices, rituals, concepts, talking about this, we all know, specially because I realize that we are here, interacting in this forum, for example, because we are seeking something else. So, existing so many and diverse ways of interpreting our reality, there is no absolute Truth.

We just feel, when something speaks directly to our Soul, to our Inner Energy. We can feel when there is something to be learned from what happens to us, being good or bad experiences.

We all grow in our quest, we all learn and we all teach.

I think it is hard, at least for me, to get linked to a unique concept or definition, and I`ve had personal problems when dealing with it years ago. Diversity in the way of thinking and feeling things. Not being closed to a unique system or concept, made me feel lost. Thinking that something was wrong, and I was an indecisive person.

Nowadays, I realize, at least for this moment I am living, that there is a reason for that. As there is a reason for each individual to follow a Path.

An eternal student, just sharing.

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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha on 14.11.17 6:49

We come to the surface to breath *
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by A.Nightside on 14.11.17 16:19

I began "growing" very young, perhaps around 8. The earliest memory I can recall was a sense of not being like the rest of humanity. I don't remember how young I was, but I remember being quite young, falling asleep in the back of the car and asking my parents, my mother mostly as she was in the front passenger seat, "do you feel like I do?". What I meant related to my perceptions, my inner indescribable feeling of what I am, at my core. I didn't fully understand it then, and I still can't wholly put it to words, but I feel it relates to my vampirism a little, and my nonhuman identity a lot. I experienced mild mental shifts throughout my childhood, but recall my first phantom limb(s) around 8. I recall more moderate mental shifts around 10, and general "awakening", craving and seeking knowlege about 14 or so. I'm still searching but the drive, the actual propulsion towards knowledge has been burning out as I get older. I can't accept "It just is", I strongly desire answers, but I'm losing faith, losing interest, losing any real desire to fulfill myself.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by MysticLightShinethForth on 15.11.17 10:32

Lynskha, good post, true I do believe it to be. I had written something yesterday in response to this topic but deleted it before I had sent it due to not being so very accurate in my wordings of philosophical ideas in regards to this. But I would say that it is a good post, unfortunately I do not have that much more to add.

A.Nightside, what do you mean by mental shifts? Do you mean what the otherkin community means when using that word? In that case, I have experienced many similar things. I have even manifested lycanthropic behaviours, snarling, howling, in mental shifts propelled by flight or fight responses. I would physically become a lot more potentially aggressive in a defencive manner, and thereby a bit stronger I would suppose, but primarily a lot more aggressive in the way described. I would feel in a non-human state of mind and even act like an animal physically. Now, after my Christendom, I have stopped those behaviours because of having other expectations on me from higher powers as it were. But now, yet again, recently, they have emerged, erupted once more and I no longer repress those instincts. But they are a lot more mild now than they used to be. I may have the mental state of a serpent, or a chimerical mixture between some predatory animals such as bears, wolves and large cat creatures. How would you define your mental shifts? I ask out of sheer interest, of course.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by MysticLightShinethForth on 15.11.17 10:42

I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me. But then again, I am not absolutely certain about my vampirism if it is just some kind of metaphysical illness or if it is real. But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that. Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha on 16.11.17 13:30

I'm still searching but the drive, the actual propulsion towards knowledge has been burning out as I get older. I can't accept "It just is", I strongly desire answers, but I'm losing faith, losing interest, losing any real desire to fulfill myself.

A.Nightside , thank you for opening about what happened to you. Your mental shifts, and the difficulties in finding in others what you used to feel.

I believe, many here understand what you mean. Even if from a simple different point of view, we know, we sense we have a different way of seeing the world, and interpreting it, as we tend to be more sensitive. And by "we" I mean, the ones who go beyond the layer of illusion that this world has.

People seeking for more, wanting answers, do tend to see and feel more, and that ends up making us different, where the tendency, from a very young age, is to make us feel weird, not comfortable.

The others looking at us , like we were "aliens" , from questioning. From bringing up questions a "regular" kid just wouldn't.

From what you said above, I believe many go through this state of going and coming, the ups and downs, and they are all part of our Journey. We have moments where everything is calm, and the next second our Universe is shaken.
We have times we seek, and trust, believe, and others where we just need to be away from everything.

Just keep going, be strong. Everything is part of the learning.


I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me

That is very interesting you mentioned. I believe you could try to explore to better understand, feeling it.


Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.

we are all strange heheheh, It is good we have these questions, Why? One day we are ok with a simple answer, and the next day we wake up chaotic, Why? and then a lot of thoughts just come to mind. I thinkI undestand a bit of wht you said. feeling different, maybe because we see that many of them are just trapped in this ilusion.

But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that

I believe that is why we are here. Looking for ways of knowing ourselves. =)
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by MysticLightShinethForth on 16.11.17 16:11

Cheers mate. Very Happy
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha on 18.11.17 12:35

cheers! Let's drink from the Ab-i-Hayat ! hehehe
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by A.Nightside Today at 6:15

MysticLightShinethForth wrote:
A.Nightside, what do you mean by mental shifts? Do you mean what the otherkin community means when using that word? In that case, I have experienced many similar things. I have even manifested lycanthropic behaviours, snarling, howling, in mental shifts propelled by flight or fight responses. I would physically become a lot more potentially aggressive in a defencive manner, and thereby a bit stronger I would suppose, but primarily a lot more aggressive in the way described. I would feel in a non-human state of mind and even act like an animal physically. Now, after my Christendom, I have stopped those behaviours because of having other expectations on me from higher powers as it were. But now, yet again, recently, they have emerged, erupted once more and I no longer repress those instincts. But they are a lot more mild now than they used to be. I may have the mental state of a serpent, or a chimerical mixture between some predatory animals such as bears, wolves and large cat creatures. How would you define your mental shifts? I ask out of sheer interest, of course.

What do I mean? Yes, by the definition held by the general Therian and Otherkin communities, a Shift is a sensation in which one more-strongly experiences themselves as the animal they identify. Not all therians/Otherkin experiences shifts. Shifts can range from mental which may involve changes in sensory perceptions - ie, sense of hearing improves over other senses, keeping in mind that these sensory changes are still within the realms of human physical capacity and that when one sense impoves, an other may be sacrificed; changes in thought patters - where one may normally think in normal terms, during a shift one may be more prone to fight or flight responses, instinctual urges and thought processes simplify toward that more akin to what a nonhuman animal might (though the exception being that not all identify as Earthly animals and therefore not all mental processes simplify from the complexity of human mind, but could even become more complex), they can take the form of supernumerary phantom limb sensations, they can involve projections/out of body experiences where one experiences their projected self as the animal or creature they identify as, and so on.

I am generally prone to expressions not considered "typical" of your average human, such as what you mention, but I have self control and am at least physically human. I know better. Typically such mannerisms can be chalked up as simple individual quirks, but during a shift, yes they can be more difficult to control, or downplay.

It's important to understand however that shifts are not always triggered nor represented by heightened emotional states. If you find yourself more anxious (aggressive, defensive), while that could be part of it, it could also indicate something else, such as an anxiety or disassociative disorder of some kind.

It's also important to understand that humans are animals, and some consider predators. Many thoughts or behaviours one might attribute to "nonhuman" animals, are also shared by humans too. I would research, both suspected kin/theriotypes to see if anything fits accurately to your nature, how you experience your -self-, but also research on what it really is/means to be therian or otherkin. One can have an over active imagination, one can have a totem who for whatever reason decides to communicate through shift-like sensations (sort of a "power animal" kind of deal). Other possible explanations exist, exhausting all avenues to find the best fitting one, is my advice.

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Re: What do we seek?

Post by A.Nightside Today at 6:31

MysticLightShinethForth wrote:I do not know what it is due to, it could be due to vampirism, but I am not certain. However, when I go out into cities, it feels as if I am energetically empowered by a significant deal as if I were a sponge or magnet for all the energy, maybe even subconsciously feeding if that would be natural to me. But then again, I am not absolutely certain about my vampirism if it is just some kind of metaphysical illness or if it is real. But I suppose that is why I am here on this forum out of such or similar interests and to potentially find clues and awakening answers, whether it be to this or that. Maybe I am just some strange creature, who somehow got some strange sides or aspects to me, haha. But the question still persists; why? I have also felt different from most human beings, even alienating myself from them to some rather high, or higher, degree.

Auto-feeding is possible (the state in which the body naturally "feeds" generally with the individual being oblivious to it), but generally occurs more for "latent" (if you even believe in such a thing) or starving "vampires". There is always a natural cycling of energy, in a city, or other active places, sure, the energy may be more "charged" but you should also take into account more obvious factors. Lights, sounds, people. Humans are social creatures, even those with anxiety or who may be introverted, interaction with other people or being around other people can trigger hormone production which makes one feel more energized (even if that "energy" is directed negatively in more of a fear response) or strengthened. Lights and sounds may trigger brain and hormonal responses.

A majority of the members in this forum, those who study/practice Asetianism consider the "vampires" and definition of that you find from the Vampire community a "metaphysical illness" and indeed this is essentially what I initially subscribed to, and largely still do. However, I am open minded and I am familiar with vampires of the "Community" associating more than just "a need to feed" with their label of vampire (or other alternative label they might decide on given "vampire" being a bit of a misleading term with it's additional connotations), so I am curious about vampirism in terms of the occult, and the Asetians' view of such as well. An alternative to "illness" or condition being that we are beigns who may not originate from Earth but from places, planes or what-have-you of higher energy density (for want of a better description). In this way, while there is nothing wrong with us, our [metaphysical] bodies must be maintained through additional efforts on our part, called "feeding".

As it stands for myself, Vampirism does not make me nonhuman. I do not hold the belief that my need to take energy (and/or blood) from outside of myself makes me nonhuman. However, the possibility exists that in being nonhuman, such a state causes me the need to feed. I generally consider my vampirism and nonhuman identity to be seperate things, only possibly related but not confirmed as such just yet.

One can be vampire without identifying as nonhuman in some way. One can identify as nonhuman in some way without a need to feed.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha Today at 7:18

A. Nightside, I enjoyed very much to read what you posted above. Very interesting, I got in contact with some theories, a long time ago, the broken chackra, for example.
For years, that was one of the few I had an idea to deal with the subject.
Like you said, an "illness" , however I always had in mind that, there could be something more than that.
When reading Asetian Bible, I could find better explanation for it. At least, one that aligned to what I thought.

Very interesting what you mentioned about the vampirism and nonhuman identity as separate things, at least for now .
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Maxx Today at 8:14

A. Nightshade.  

I will throw this out for just consideration.  Only my view.  Has no sock puppet material.  No worries.

Over eons of time we each have returned to this planet living lives we designed before entering the experience with much help from others as well as other higher beings.  The manufacturing base keeps getting better and better at this.  All designed to elevate the soul.

Using past life regression, many are now seeing lives that were lived as sea creatures, rocks, flowers,  insects, animals.......animals.  That last step up from animal to human is what I am thinking of.  If one would recently have stepped up into the human experience from an animal experience, some of that might be flowing over at times.  I say this because of the gay gender issue.  I believe a gay male with female motions and thoughts lived more immediate lives as a female gender person.  Then when choosing the male body for this life, the previous experiences expand over into the present life.   The same happens when the female is gay as she has lived more immediate lives in the body of the male.  These illustrations are not for every life that demonstrates these characteristics but most of them in my opinion.  Some of the individuals I have discussed this with seem to actively agree with this line of thinking after consideration of it for a while.

The dreams of otherkin in the night time are bleedovers from previous exsitence from the animal kingdom as that soul had experienced.  I have had these myself as a wolflike creature that tore another person to pieces and killed them.  Although I have experienced this several times I do not consider myself otherkin.  I am human experiencing many different lifestyles on this planet as that is what a soul is here for.  When we have reached a higher education with this type of progress we will move out into other universes to experience more in different manners to grow.   The soul is ever progressing higher.  

This is why, I personally, do not hold the topic of Vampirism of very much importance.  It is only one small aspect of our entire makeup as we go about living and growing and experiencing all we are a part of here on this planet.

Rarely does a high school senior that is graduating chose to return back to the second grade for more experience.   By this I mean rarely does a human chose to return to a life of being a part of the animal kingdom after reaching the human element.

My belief from the above statements will show my thoughts that all creation will have souls....plants, animals, humans.   We all evolve.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Lynskha Today at 8:24

Maxx, nice thoughts you shared.

Personally I am interested in the layer of vampirism, but seeing it from a different perspective, a deeper one. Not just the first layer of feeding, manipulating energy, Lineage/castes conception.

It is a topic that interests me for many reasons. However, I do agree with you, about it being just an small aspet of a person entire story.

It may be one of the multiple layers we have, we live and we vibrate. One that, is important in its charateristics, as it helps to better understand somethings that people experience, due to this "condition" , however it would be a mistake to be stagnated in this concept, of " I am a vampire" and just that.

What I found to be interesting in this forum, people in the Asetianism studies, and Asetianism itself, is that it explores it in a more mature, deep way. Not getting restrict to the vampire thing, and period.

I also agree with you, we experience , we learn, we move forward, sometimes, having to revisit some concepts, review lessons, that will help us better understand this eternal journey.

It is beautiful to see this Djehuty of the Serpent, bringing people to awake, to seek for this development. Vampires specially, aren't different, being even more affected due to its... own needs and agenda.
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Re: What do we seek?

Post by Maxx Today at 8:49

My flying fingers made a mistake.

I meant to type A. Nightside.

At my age, I can have several excuses and get away with all of them.......
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