Something else is speaking

I thought I'd continue to share my experiences on this forum, because I'm hoping someone might have encountered something similar.

I still feel a presence nearby. It never does anything... no flying objects or menacing things But I know it's definitely there. I rarely feel alone. Once I even felt the lightest energy behind me... as if someone was standing behind me with their hand on my shoulder.

Also, odd thoughts run through my head sometimes. I will be going about my daily life as usual, with the normal stream of consciousness. But answering sentences will pop up here and there. And my first reaction will be to think "where did that come from? That totally isn't me." I'm certain they aren't from me. It's unsettling, but the thoughts have a slightly different flavor than my own. I have felt like there are two different participants in my own thoughts, myself and something else included.... like someone is listening to what I'm saying inside of my head and responding accordingly. The responses are usually very helpful but also brutally honest.

In addition to this, I've been looking at the clock at weird times... mostly 11:11 or 1:11. When I'm calculating totals for my job, those numbers pop a lot too. I was driving home from a friend's house and contemplating a major life decision that would be far too long and off-topic to discuss here, and looked at the dashboard. The clock read 11:11, and I suddenly got an overwhelming sense of urgency and cold chills everywhere. I had been silently begging whatever was hanging around me for help/advice about my life problems. I also knew, somehow, that I was surrounded by multiple entities at the time.

There will be moments when I think about this life decision, and feel like an invisible entity is hanging around me, trying very hard to get some sort of message across. The energy feels extremely urgent... almost life-threatening.

Some days I will literally come into my house and sit on the couch, stare at the tv for at least fifteen minutes with a complete blankness, not taking in anything. This isn't really normal for me. Time can pass in odd lurches. And I have these dreams every night that feel like real experiences but I can't remember anything in the morning. I rarely feel rested anymore. No matter how much I relax, the tension never goes away.

Anyway, I thank everyone for reading. I hope someone might have insight into this situation that I don't already have... advice is welcome. I'm feeling a bit unsettled!

I think you should just meditate on it some more. Try and push out and feel the presence. Explore yourself and the entity. Maybe the entity is really just a part of you trying to make its way out?

Anyway, good luck with it and make sure to update on how it's going.

I'll be honest, Rhea Kaye: it sounds very bad.

If an entity like that is around someone, that could mean many things, but the answer to most of them is: Banish! Banish a lot!

The question is - what is this "something" around you?
Is it "in you" or is it "outside"? That is very important!

Because, you see, it can be you, a part of you. If this is the case, then you really have to meditate on why this part of you wants to be heard. Maybe you want to tell yourself something very, very important.

... Or it is not you. In this case, meditating on it can be really dangerous. Some things should not be heard.

I suggest you to search for "banishing" articles on the internet. Chaos magic has many versions / methods of banishing.
Peter J. Carroll's 'Liber Null & Psychonaut' has topics about banishing and exorcism, too, maybe you should read it.

Another thing: if you choose not to meditate (which is safer, in my opinion), then you still can speak to this something. Evoke it, maybe.

Have you ever used magic, by the way?

Plus: are you a vampire? If you are, what kind of feeding technique do you use?

Rhea Kaye wrote: The responses are usually very helpful but also brutally honest.

In addition to this, I've been looking at the clock at weird times... mostly 11:11 or 1:11.

Ok.

you must meditate to the point no thoughts enter your mind, and ask directly, is this being here to help me spiritually? are you here with positive energy?

if they're talking to you, they'll answer. but if they aren't here for positive reasons, theyre just lurking around and zapping energy from you while you sleep.

I say this because I had to fight five or six black clouds out of my room before from 12midnight till 6 am this past week. but not all are bad, but you need to tune your mind to their frequency, and see and hear who and what they are.

but in hearing voices, I also got in touch with beings on higher planes and they're there to help me (guardians who have been showing me some really cool stuff energy wise. visions etc, past life knowledge).
but I can also see some bad ones from lower planes that tried to come through for their own purposes.

I say, just see who they are. would you welcome an intruder in your home without knowing who they are and what they want?

I've seen souls of lost children and animals before who needed help finding their way. I've also like mentioned earlier, found some energy zappers.
but, if you know how, you can easily just suck in their being in entirety, energetically, and cleanse it with your chakra, and use it or dispel it/ground it. you can do whatever you want with it actually. cause they're trying to be on our frequency but are not natives, so we have the upper hand here.

if you feel tired and restless, just ask. it could be you making yourself feel that way, or that little bugger.

and to get rid of them, there are multiple ways, I just use visualization and energy projection/manipulation. but see if he's there to help you first. wouldn't want to kick out a friend. but for shadowy beings, only two have been 'good' in my experiences, most are just lingering around for nothing/you dont need them around.

I've been seeing 11:11 alot lately, too. it comes and goes. dont forget to make a wish whenever 11:11 continuously appears before me by coincidence (like everyday this week now) it's significant- do something with it. last year last summer I made wishes and nearly all of them came true. try it out

positive vibes means positive results/results you desire.

good luck

..... By throwing all this banishing bullshit around you are creating a subconscious notion that the energy Rhea feels is demonic. Frontloading is often a huge roadblock to thorw wanting to work with this kinda thing.

You could always try to talk to what "it" may be (If it is a sentenience) through something like a pendulum. If shit gets dirty, you'll know. You could always invoke a trusted spirit to help you, etc. Good luck though Rhea.

Chaos mages love banishing, but, to tell the truth, I've never ever used it.

It's interesting, because I really like evocation, creating and commanding spirits. Yet I've never needed to banish them.
Plus I've never even had problems with them.

Idk how to do quotes the fancy way so : "if you choose not to meditate (which is safer, in my opinion)".

You say some weird shit my friend. I'm hoping it is the language barrier lol.

Stapleraindrop wrote:Idk how to do quotes the fancy way so : "if you choose not to meditate (which is safer, in my opinion)".

You say some weird shit my friend. I'm hoping it is the language barrier lol.

You're right, my English as not as perfect as I would like it to be.
Please excuse me for the the inconveniences!

I meant meditation could be dangerous.
If this entity is a part of your mind, then it can cause madness.
Why? Because meditation can shut down your mental barriers.

It would be much easier if Rhea Kaye would try to control this "thing". Meditation is a very passive method, in contrast to direct orders.

And, as I said, he / she should study evocation.

^I'm going to have to disagree with that, based on experience

meditation can give you full control over things, but this is my experience so, perhaps others have experienced differently.

If it's a part of her mind, I feel thats all the better for her to be able to control it and will it to do as she pleases, either go away or surface to say what it's been wanting to say, then bye bye or see you later. you just have to know what you're doing is all...
just my two cents.
meditation is rarely ever dangerous unless you let it be that way. mind over matter.
if you let whatever is out there into your mind without specifying what's allowed in, then you allow yourself to accept good or bad.
if while meditating and doing energy work at the same time, shielding grounding... and only allowing certain things through, nothing can ever harm you.

this is just my experience though... whenever anything tries to step in that i don't want, kill it with fire, literally, from your mind...

I feel the people of this forum tend to not work in such ways as I describe. I'll probably stop suggesting my methods, I feel they are going unnoticed or being frowned upon because I'm not a typical 'occultist' with my kind of workings.
but i just had to say that proper meditation won't hurt you.

cheers

Demonia wrote:
this is just my experience though... whenever anything tries to step in that i don't want, kill it with fire, literally, from your mind...

I feel the people of this forum tend to not work in such ways as I describe. I'll probably stop suggesting my methods, I feel they are going unnoticed or being frowned upon because I'm not a typical 'occultist' with my kind of workings.
but i just had to say that proper meditation won't hurt you.
cheers

This "kill it with fire" attitude is a very good one, actually.

"Just" your experience?! There is only YOUR experience!
Everyone has his / her own opinion, but that doesn't mean others should agree with it.
There is only the subjective "I", "my mind", "my world" - who knows what is "otside" of it?

So your experience, your opinion matters - a lot.

And, you know, as a chaos mage, I've never ever met a mage who agreed with me, with my paradigms / methods.   
But magic is subjective! Trust me: your own perspective is what really matters.

I've meditated a lot, by the way. It's cool.
So if someone feels that this is the way to solve his / her problem(s), so be it.   

What is a typical occultist? Those tattooed wiccan teens drawing pentagrams on bathroom walls? Your methods are as appreciated as anyone else's Demonia

Thank you everyone for the responses. I found them all to be helpful. Demonia, I find your methods to be perfectly valid as well. All opinions are valid and I might just try that. It resonated with me.
There was a question as to whether or not I am a vampire. Honestly, I have no idea. I feel passionately toward the Aset Ka and everything they represent, and the teachings bring me a strong desire to dig deeper within myself. I would love to be a vampire... but you can't become something like that just out of desire, right? I guess the only way of knowing is through deep meditation and spiritual growth. I do believe I have vampiric tendencies. For example, daytime and being out in sunlight is quite draining on me, but nighttime is refreshing and makes me feel alive. I am antisocial and acting like other people's physical company means something to me requires effort- a LOT of it. I enjoy being alone... in fact, after I'm around people or large crowds, I feel like being alone for a while is necessary because all their energies sort of mingle together and make me get headaches and become pretty grumpy/agitated. As time goes on, I feel more and more disconnected with regular human emotions (man, I hope the boss likes my work today, I really want a new car, etc.) although I use them as a crutch to avoid my true feelings, which sometimes scare me a little... because my real feelings are that nothing material matters. Such thinking makes me the odd-one out in this Bible belt where I live. Sometimes I feel like one of those changelings in the fairy tales... you know, the ones that pretend to be something else to hide those sharp teeth... haha
Back to the main subject (sorry for the ramble, and I hope I didn't offend anyone).
I'm not sure if the presence is just me or something else. Occasionally I will look in the mirror and randomly get terrified... it feels like something is holding me in place, saying, look at me, look at me. There will be something different in my eyes. It feels almost like a bloodlust, something very dark that makes me get all shaky. And when I see that staring back at me, I have no idea what to do. And then, the shell that is me wants to laugh. I would almost describe it as demonic. After a few moments, the pull loosens, I step away and try to pull myself together. (Um... I know this sounds nuts. I swear I'm being serious).
The presence seems to have quieted over the past few weeks but I think it's still there. I'm still incredibly restless and drained on a constant basis. The circumstances of my life aren't helping but I do think outside forces are at work. It's hard to relax enough to meditate because I keep feeling like its telling me something awful is about to happen...

Rhea Kaye, now I'm pretty sure your own self is "stalking" you.
You feel the pressure of society, dogmas and limits, and somewhere deep in your soul you want to be free.
That's why modern people have depression.
The meaningless circles of human society is really maddening.

But you have to find peace with all this, somehow.
Maybe it's really meditation what you need.

Rhea, if I may ask, how did you come upon the Asetian path? Actually now that I think about it this would be a good forum post in and of itself...

Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure. It just happened. I found this forum, read a lot of the stuff on here, and then the Asetian Bible started calling to me. Once I got my hands on a copy and read it, everything they said clicked. It all felt right, somehow... And a lot of the descriptions of Viperines and especially Guardians made quite a few of my personality traits less mysterious and far more understandable. Of course, I'm not saying I'm actually a Guardian or Viperine or even a vampire in general, just that I can identify with them.

So many questions in my head....

Deeper than that though; what got you into energy, vampirism and the whole thing. Think off all the universal factors.

Rhea Kaye wrote: For example, daytime and being out in sunlight is quite draining on me, but nighttime is refreshing and makes me feel alive.  I am antisocial and acting like other people's physical company means something to me requires effort- a LOT of it. I enjoy being alone... in fact, after I'm around people or large crowds, I feel like being alone for a while is necessary because all their energies sort of mingle together and make me get headaches and become pretty grumpy/agitated.  As time goes on, I feel more and more disconnected with regular human emotions (man, I hope the boss likes my work today, I really want a new car, etc.) although I use them as a crutch to avoid my true feelings, which sometimes scare me a little... because my real feelings are that nothing material matters.  Such thinking makes me the odd-one out in this Bible belt where I live.  Sometimes I feel like one of those changelings in the fairy tales... you know, the ones that pretend to be something else to hide those sharp teeth... haha
Back to the main subject (sorry for the ramble, and I hope I didn't offend anyone).
I'm not sure if the presence is just me or something else.  Occasionally I will look in the mirror and randomly get terrified... it feels like something is holding me in place, saying, look at me, look at me.  There will be something different in my eyes.  It feels almost like a bloodlust, something very dark that makes me get all shaky. And when I see that staring back at me, I have no idea what to do.  And then, the shell that is me wants to laugh.  I would almost describe it as demonic.  After a few moments, the pull loosens, I step away and try to pull myself together.  (Um... I know this sounds nuts. I swear I'm being serious).

Ah. Seriously. Get out of my head!! I can relate to this on so many levels. I feel like you just wrote down what I think :/ Weird...

^I'm glad other people can relate to this It makes me feel less alone. I can identify with your other posts as well.

What really got me into Asetianism? A lot of it involved my great-grandmother. She was always really into Egyptian mythology. She did some... ah, eccentric things. Like taking a block of wood and carving an ancient style sarcophagus out of it, painting it gold and black, and requesting to be buried inside of it. She also plastered her walls with her own Egyptian paintings. She was into the occult as well. My family members say that weird things often went on in her house, like shadowy figures standing in the doorways (and I could go on about this forever). She had spiritual gifts and my father did as well (he could see auras). There were things that happened around her involving spiritual activity that made my father go white in the face and completely silent whenever they were brought up by me. He blatantly refused to talk about them, which makes me believe there was plenty of paranormal/spiritual/occult activity there. I really think that a strong attraction to all things ancient Egyptian runs in my family.

A lot of finding Asetianism came from wanting answers. I couldn't figure out why I am the way I am... able to blend in quite well if I want, but being almost abrasively different on the inside. I started questioning a lot about religion (I used to be a pretty die-hard Christian so this was an enormous step). I became highly uncomfortable with my daily life, feeling like a sheep being led to the slaughter. How could I put my full faith in anyone but myself for spiritual growth and salvation? That's almost like a mother telling her infant, "Don't worry about learning how to walk--you won't need to, ever. I'll just walk for you. Don't question anything, all you'll ever need is me." It felt like putting blinders on. I always had a massive interest in the occult but I let the fear of God's wrath hold me back. With time I became brave enough to investigate it. And I realized that the concepts I was raised on, like good and evil, are all lies. There was something deep inside of me begging to find the truth. When I read the Asetian Bible, I felt like I found it. All my life, the only thing I truly wanted was to find the truth without the influence of anyone else's agenda.

(Sorry if this is cheesy lol)

I hope I managed to answer the question?

Yep. And you have shared, so for the last time I'll post this awful story~

My introduction to the occult started with a drug trip. A concentrated dose of hashish unlocked keys in my mind that have been there since birth. I believe this was because of a pineal stimulation at the time from the large amount of dopamine/seratonin being produced by my brain. (the chemical effects of hash)
I started with some satanist stuff, probably because of a christian upbringing, but shoddy sites/info led to move on from that. The one thing I really gained from that satanist stuff is discovering the words "psychic vampire"

A lifelong interest in vampires (obsession may be a better word; from the time I could read I had loved vampires) plus an unquenchable thirst for knowledge led me to scanning the internet for hours a day for a few months.

Reading from shit new age websites, I learned to fear vampires. But, something never clicked. I kept going for about 3 or 4 months till I googled the phrase "real vampire website", and this came up. there were about 1-2 websites I actually trusted at that point, so coming here was just eye opening. Granted I acted like a little moron at first but oh well lol.

It's interesting to look at this from a universal perspective, to see how each piece of this forum contributes to the whole.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was also intrigued by the term "psychic vampire". The possibility of a metaphysical side of vampires intrigued me as well, I think that's part of how I found Asetianism.