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Post by Hansa on 01.06.20 4:30

Hello!

I'm new here and hope to learn more about vampirism. The impetus of my interest on the subject, other than the obsession of the idea of a very ellegant predator who's both wise and powerful, back in my teenage years, was, the fact that when I was having a conversation with a fellow witch, he said that if perhaps I'm an energy vampire.

I'm a practicing witch btw, a novice in the path.

With the overwhelming amount of negative articles about energy vampire, I was taken aback.
I was like... What do you mean I'm an energy vampire? I hate dramas, always avoid them like the plague, I'm too much of an empath to be narcissistic, and despite my flair in it, I never consciously manipulate anyone for my own gain (as far as I can remember), so what do you mean that I might be an energy vampire?

Off course my fellow witch immediately soothed my ruffled feathers by explaining that perhaps, I don't produce enough energy to sustain a healthy existence for myself.

I first pooh-poohed the idea. Attributing my low energy to my depression episode of my bipolar type 2 disorder.

But then I pondered, what if, just if, I am a vampire or something like that?

There are many things that I question in my life. Which I tried to supplied the most logical answers.

Why do I have bipolar type 2 disorder? Since I was 19; and was depressed as a child?
I have a wonderful childhood, I won the parent lottery, and I'm talented and inteligent.
I'm optimistic (even despite being depressed), I have no problem with self-esteem, etc.
I shouldn't have it...

But then my psychiatrist told me that genetics played bigger role in mentall illness than perviously thought.

Oh, perhaps that!

Or perhaps the fact that I am sensitive to energy since child and was "forced" to go to school everyday and sat in a class of that many people just messed me up. Because a few years ago, when I was persuaded to work in an office full of people (I'm a freelancer and that job's salary was big), I can feel how the jumbled energies bothered me so much, I was so stressed and in pain for the 3 months I worked there.

And then there's the fact that I'm an introvert who needs so much alone time, I'm practically a hermit. But I felt invigorated on several occassions, where the vibe of the occassion was nice and I don't have to interact with many people and can just enjoy the flow of those lovely energies.

Did I feed on the energy unconsciously? Who knows? Maybe it was just nice atmosphere and I was just happy!

Recently, a rather close friend blocked me.
We never fight or anything, and through a mutual friend I found out that said (ex) close friend was having a headache because of me and that she needs to cut our relationship in order for her to be healthier. I dont understand her rationalization, but I attribute her headache etc for her own foolishness of not shielding herlself when she knows very well that she is a strong empath.
Or that perhaps she's just delusional and I'm an easy target to blame.

The thing is, before, she never had that problem and I was the one who always have to give in our friendship. She usually contacted me when she's anxious or sad or depressed (she also has bipolar) or felt suicidal.
And I'll be the one who soothed her and consoled her, pouring my energy onto her so she'll feel better.
And she always felt better after talking to me.

Is there any chance that I unconsciously feed on her energy to the point she got a headache?


Lately, when I feel down on energy, I will turn the faucet on and take the energy of water into me.
It felt cold (the energy, the water temp was rather warm) to the point of me having goosebumps, but it was nice and it can sustain me for about an hour.

But then I'll be low on energy again...

Should I feed from other people's energy?

Btw, just an fyi, if it turns out that Ijust have vampiric traits or just simply delusional, I'll be glad to know that. That means I can look for a solution elsewhere.

Lastly, I'm very sorry for the long novel and for the not that good syntax or spelling or usage of word(s). English is not my first language.

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Post by A.Nightside on 01.06.20 20:57

First, read this: http://www.asetka.org/vampirism.shtml
With the above in mind, I do think that you're in the wrong place for the variety of "vampirism" you are considering. Those of the Asetianist path do not see vampirism as a condition of the soul at all.

Now, some things that stood out to me:

I felt invigorated on several occassions, where the vibe of the occassion was nice and I don't have to interact with many people and can just enjoy the flow of those lovely energies.
Did I feed on the energy unconsciously? Who knows? Maybe it was just nice atmosphere and I was just happy!

Understand that humans are social creatures. Even introverts need to be around people from time to time.
Though, I can also relate. Sitting around a busy place just sort of floating in the atmosphere and enjoying it.

Another key word to keep in mind, you mention that you believe yourself to be an Empath. I assume the context here is in a sixth-sense, spiritual/energy sort of way, not the basic human social skill.

And I'll be the one who soothed her and consoled her, pouring my energy onto her so she'll feel better.
And she always felt better after talking to me.

Not just the articles you've read about Social Vampires, consider also articles regarding Narcissists. No, DO NOT assume that everyone around you is such a person, but it's something to consider that Empaths are like a beacon to certain types of people. Those of ill intent, and those who perhaps are a bit broken themselves.

Sure, it's possible you took on her emotional energy, but that's also relatively normal for a social species.

Is there any chance that I unconsciously feed on her energy to the point she got a headache?

I would be more inclined to consider what you already know. You are an Empath, or at least believe yourself to be. Emotions are draining, even when they are your own. Misery loves company. These people-in-need, may be feeding on you, rather than the other way around. No, they aren't all vampires necessarily, but emotions can be like that.

Lately, when I feel down on energy, I will turn the faucet on and take the energy of water into me.
It felt cold (the energy, the water temp was rather warm) to the point of me having goosebumps, but it was nice and it can sustain me for about an hour.

This sounds more like a placebo effect. Maybe some momentary meditation involved where you're centering your mind on the water, a practice of mindfulness and observation of the water. I experienced this same effect with self harm as a teen. I've also played with fire and water in this way. It's a ritual of sorts, and it helps to sort of reset your mind.

I'm not advocating for you to do these things. I am also not saying these things don't necessarily have energy, still if you consider energy as coming from living organisms, tap water is often so heavily treated, filtered, etc. I can't imagine there is much left in it.

Is it truly "energy" that you're down on, or emotion?

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Post by A.Nightside on 01.06.20 20:58

*another thing to look into, regarding your mental diagnoses. Genetics very much play a part. Consider also, other physical causes. Hormonal or metabolic would be a good place to check.

Have your thyroid checked, at the least.
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Post by Rhea Kaye on 01.06.20 22:12

Amelia, please try to have your facts straight before speaking for the Asetianist community. It simply isn't accurate to state that all Asetianists don't see through this path that vampirism is a condition of the soul. You actually have it backwards. Vampirism IS seen as a condition of the soul.
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Post by Jonathan on 02.06.20 5:05

A.Nightside wrote:First, read this: http://www.asetka.org/vampirism.shtml
With the above in mind, I do think that you're in the wrong place for the variety of "vampirism" you are considering. Those of the Asetianist path do not see vampirism as a condition of the soul at all.

I was confused about that part as well, maybe you misspelled it or got something confused? Because according to the Asetian teachings vampirism is indeed a condition of the soul. In fact, the Aset Ka was the first organization or culture to explain vampirism as a condition of the soul as opposed to the general views of the VC that see vampirism a broken chakra or energy problem (House Kheperu, Sabretooth, Strigoi Vii, most Houses in the US) or an undiscovered medical condition (medsangs and some sanguinarians).
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Post by Hansa on 02.06.20 5:48

Since mental illness is basically imbalance of certain hormones in the brain, in that sense, off course I have hormonal imbalance. I do know that I dont have thyroid problems.

As for low emotion vs low energy, it's low energy. My low energy sometimes influence my mood, but more often than not, it doesn't. It's very frustrating to be in a good mood and happy, but low on energy I can't do nothing.
Perhaps you're right, it's placebo effect when it comes to the water. Although I do think that even though it's tap water with chemical etc, water itself have energy. But even though it's placebo, it works, so I'll take it.
Not so long ago, I moved out of my parents place and live alone. In my new flat I have no greeneries and it felt weird. When I buy some and have them in my flat, I feel much better. I don't know if I uncomsciously took energy from them or just that plants have that effect. I have to invetigate more, although I loathe to conscioualy draw energy from them, as I am afraid it will kill my plants.
Btw, I have read about vampirism in the AsetKa website many times, I believe what I learned and what you learned from the passage is different.
I'm rather good at spotting narcissistic people and they are not that many or common. Truly or clinically narcissists I've met are very attracted to me, true, but I stayed away from them, as I can't stand their drama and their constant need of validation. There are only two of them so far, and I hope I won't have to meet another.
People with tendency of narcissism however, are many, but I think that's normal. When his or her narcissistic tendencies are becoming toxic, I usually maintain my distant and prepare myself to take flight.

Yes, I do believe I have empathy, more that the usual empathy that humans in general posses as a part of being a social creature. It comes in handy to read situation or people, but can be overwhelming when I faced someone with extreme emotion. It's very uncomfortable for me to feel the same emotion when I know very well that that emotion is not mine, for example, jittery high-strung anxious emotion from excessive worry of this pandemia, or sorrow from mourning a dead pet... If I don't shield, I will feel them as my own emotion, it's a hassle when I'm trying to soothe her anxiety and telling the pet owner that her dog is still with her and currently wagging his tail.

To tell you the truth, I do not yet understand what you peeps talking about the soul and vampirism...
What I know for sure is that I have no problem with my chakra apart from them being off center every now and then. Which I think is normal. It's not that I'm so enlightenned like some Tibetan monks so that my chakras are always aligned.

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Post by MysticLightShinethForth on 02.06.20 8:30

Explore within and put method to test; perseverance is the key to success. There's really no one here who can directly validate for you a vampiric nature or not, but we can see through indications in various people... most often suspected - or reasssuredly thought - to be in the negative.

Have you tried any form of energy work as well as thorough shadow work to uncover any possible hidden nature by both psychological and energetic means in service of that inner realization?
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Post by Hansa on 02.06.20 9:39

I'm constantly doing shadow work as it's very beneficial for my emotional state. That's how I found, for sure, that I was depressed as a child. Apart from burried self-hate out of having inhuman expectation of myself, my shadow self, is really not that shadowy.

As for energy work, I do it rarely, very rarely, especially atm with the social distancing etc, and again, I'm very much a hermit. Recently, I have someone sending me energy and it was lovely. I suddenly feel very energized, which I think, is the effect of someone sending you energy.
And I admit that I am having difficulties with energy works. They're not like spells. With spells I alwaye can tell which works which doesn't, then I can do things over, etc. With energy work, there's always a chance of "I'm just imagining things"

It is somewhat comforting to know that most people seems to be, well, not a vampire. I personally have no expectation, but if I am a vampire, I know that I have to learn many things from zero. Since I feel very lost about the topic of vampires, I do not really looking forward to study it, with all the information and misinformation, the strange case of belanger, and other collectives claiming that they're the right obe... It's not like science where I can just roll my eyes to those who believe in flath earth...

It'll be different however, if I found that I am not a vampire, then learning about vampirism will be much interesting, as I'll be much more objective and the pressure of finding the truth is not ever present.

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Post by A.Nightside on 02.06.20 14:01

I apologize for my miswording.
Aset Ka don't see Vampirism as a dysfunction of the soul, but rather the being of one's soul. Is that not right?

"Condition" was used in context of a deficiency, defect or disease. Not in the context of the soul itself.

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Post by A.Nightside on 02.06.20 14:04

Vampires are not broken, diseased or limited; they are evolved spirits of oneness and completeness, mastering the subtle arts of magick, perpetually seeking wisdom and igniting their latent abilities that can be enhanced with the blood of life: the vibrational essence of vital force. Asetians should never be confused with humans bearing a damaged Self or a broken energy system as they are precisely the opposite.

This sums up what my understanding is, as far as the Aset Ka's views on vampriism.

Again, apologies for the misword
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Post by Jonathan on 02.06.20 14:17

No need to apologize, I suspected that it was a misunderstanding. Asetianists often use the expression condition of the soul not in the sense of dysfunction or defect but as reflecting a state of being, or in other words a soul that isn't human.

I believe that we were thinking the same thing but expressing it differently. lol
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Post by Rhea Kaye on 02.06.20 14:27

Thanks for clarifying, A. Nightside.
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Post by A.Nightside on 02.06.20 18:31

Jonathan wrote:No need to apologize, I suspected that it was a misunderstanding. Asetianists often use the expression condition of the soul not in the sense of dysfunction or defect but as reflecting a state of being, or in other words a soul that isn't human.

I believe that we were thinking the same thing but expressing it differently. lol

Yeah, that's sort of semi-recurring theme for me. I assume it's just me. I don't word well, heck I hardly "human" well Razz
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