feelings when connecting with others

i have no clue where to put this, so i put it in off topic. although i believe it is more important then that, but that could be me.

i was wondering if others have a similar experience when connecting with others.
i often notice when others try to find me, that they often enter feeling the same as my husbands energy or they show me his face as mask. in a sense that's a cool thing as it gives me the idea that they align with him. however this is hardly ever tru and i end up having troubles with my husband. either by having negative feelings towards him or having an argument.

i understand that life comes with the good and the bad, but i also know i can find normal things painful. so is this something that is normal and part of life or is this something one can work towards changing?