Help Please: Am I a Vampire?

I've been so anxious about this. And I've been trying to figure things out on my own but I can't quite do it. So i ask you for help. It started in around the time when I turned 13. The sudden idea of me believing in a Vampire God. I don't know how the idea got in my head but it did sometime after I stopped going to catholic church. And I strongly believed in it for a long time(I still do now). So this year I had told a friend about it and later on he told me about this site. He said he was Awakened and I've seen his Dark Mark. He also told me about receiving the Dark Kiss. And well, I've been doing my research and I want to know: Am I a Vampire? Not only for the reason of me suddenly believing a Vampire God but I have this weird talent of "Reading souls" if you know what i mean...In general, I've experienced odd things in the last year. And the only reason why I haven't ask my friend is because some things happened between us and we no longer talk.(i tried asking him but he ignored me completely). I may sound like a fool to you. But i really do Believe in all this. As soon as i started reading this it's like I remembered something I haven't seen in a really long time. And I'm attached to it, i just can't stop. Please help me figure this out. I thank whoever does.

Yours In Eternity,
Lizzy

Also from reading the information on this site i believe i am a Guardian. Jst putting tht out there. I'm afraid i'm forgetting to include all my info on this post because honestly i am nervous about this...

Yours In Eternity,
Lizzy.

I will be very honest about this. In your profile states that your age is 14, so I believe you're way too young to even be on this forum, let alone seriously studying the complex subjects we discuss in here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judgmental, but certain things just need a level of maturity that only comes with age. It's just that we have all seen people that joined the vampire community at such a young age and then what they grew up to be and how lost and desperate they became in the end, completely wasting their lives. Some of those kids sadly became a joke to many in the community, I would hate to see that happen to other children. The internet is not a safe learning environment and unfortunately there are many dishonest people that would take advantage on innocence.

The fact that you start by saying that you have a friend that was awakened, has a Dark Mark and told you about the Dark Kiss further proves my point that you're being deceived. I'm sorry but that's just not true. This may be your joke and you might simply have joined this community to say nonsense, as several others have in the past. In that case I would simply advise you not to make a fool of yourself. If you're serious about this and not here to be a joke, then yes, you were lied to and I would advise you not to trust people so easily.
If you are indeed passionate about vampirism and feel a connection with the Asetians, then you may try to purchase a copy of the Asetian Bible and study it at your own pace at home, but bear in mind that it will be a while before you're ready to learn more or get deeper into the vampire community. If someone tells you otherwise, be careful because their intentions are not the best. Anything suspicious report it to a moderator.

That's all I have to say for now. I'll wait and see the opinion from other members.

I can also almost guarantee that you will be a completely different person in six years. Your friend may have been your guide to get you here, but he was not Asetians, and Asetians are not in any way common.

Vampires, on the other hand, are far more common in terms of rarity, and vampirism can be caused by any number of factors, from a condition of the energy system caused by being Otherkin, or by a simple energy imbalance, often accompanied by depression (as observable in any other vampire forum you might visit).

If you haven't acquired the Asetian Bible yet, I suggest that you do, and that you read it thoroughly. You will find that there are no true guidelines that you will be able to fit into. There is no way to truly know if you are Asetian, and you will get no help except through those who are also not initiated, and the Aset Ka is not an open cult.

Maintain an open mind and do not jump into this pool without knowing what you're doing. This is a very complex path and it is not meant for everyone.

You know what Lizzy?

Don't worry so much about labels like 'vampire' or cool things like 'dark marks' etc.

For you I'd recommend study and practice of energy work.

To master this, or any subject, it starts with learning theory and putting things into practice.

Start with knowing the 'Dark Veil'. This is usually the standard of ethics adopted by the larger Vamp community outside Asetianism and this forum.
http://www.sanguinarius.org/articles/black_veil_2.shtml

The very first thing you should try to master is meditation.
Then work on being aware (psychically) of energy.

Be smart about it. The Black Veil teaches 'discretion'. Don't go around telling people you think you are vampire.

It doesn't matter if you turn out not o be a vamp. Learning meditation and energy is helpful anyway.

Jonathan wrote:I will be very honest about this. In your profile states that your age is 14, so I believe you're way too young to even be on this forum, let alone seriously studying the complex subjects we discuss in here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judgmental, but certain things just need a level of maturity that only comes with age.

I disagree. Maturity knows no age. The age comes the concept of how we are involved in timing. Maturity comes from how we involved with ourself.

Hierophant, Lol... What is your real intentions here?

Stalker wrote:
Hierophant, Lol... What is your real intentions here?

If you had a problem with what I typed, be specific.

Stalker wrote:
I disagree. Maturity knows no age. The age comes the concept of how we are involved in timing. Maturity comes from how we involved with ourself.

I agree with that, but at the same time I disagree. Physical age is irrelevant concerning to maturity, as I've had the chance to meet young people wiser than the average of their peers, but however life experience teaches one to know when to apply that wisdom, but yes every case is unique.

Bassist, from your message I get the feeling that either you are trying to pull our leg (it's been done before, believe me) or that you are in stuck in a world of fantasy. As to the age issue, it is true, as Stalker says, it is indeed possible to say that maturity can come at a young age. But Jonathan and Lumig are also right in toning down that idea. You can be fourteen and probably very ready to be out in the world and understand certain things, but at the same time you need to have experienced and lived, and that only comes with time - and experience.

I have many reservations regarding the "Dark Veil". Please excuse me hierophant, but it is nothing but a vapid set of rules extracted from the role playing game "Vampire: The Masquerade". It is in no way a valid code of conduct for "vampires".

Now, as to your question: are you a vampire? If I may I can offer an answer: most probably not. Are you an Asetian vampire? well, that's quite out of the question for now. And your "friend", if he does exist at all, is a huge fake.

So if you are brave enough and willful enough to take it from here, I think you should read around and ask basic questions. Maybe this can be the beginning of a fascinating voyage that will change your life. It's all up to you.

Be well.

Hierophant wrote:

Stalker wrote:
Hierophant, Lol... What is your real intentions here?

If you had a problem with what I typed, be specific.

I think your words were very specific. You know we do not support anything that from Sanguinarius/Michelle and you made a point of mentioning this why?

Syrianeh, Lumig: True. (And was a great article Jonathan)

I sense a hint of boredom from some here...those who feel the need to rock the boat in order to gain a reaction.
Lets not indulge them further than maybe we already have.

Nice post Jonathan, Lumig, Syrianeh, Stalker.

Lizzy,
I just wanted to say that my awakening was around your age as well.. but I got too far into it too fast, which is ultimately why I ended up leaving the whole idea of vampyrism off for a while. I am 20 now, and just recently began to get back into it becasue someone gave me the courage to. I can indeed see now, that I was not ready to really embrace who I was in the younger years. Not because I was not mature, but because I was less experienced in life.
My advice would be that if this really something you feel passionate about, do some reading, research, and maybe when you feel ready try some practices.. But I wouldn't go rushing to forums saying how old you are and that you think your a vampyre.
Remember, you are still young. You don't need to be making any rash decisions on who (or what..) you are. Give it time.. if you are patient things will eventually become clearer.
Best wishes.

Talibah wrote:I sense a hint of boredom from some here...those who feel the need to rock the boat in order to gain a reaction.
Lets not indulge them further than maybe we already have.

My thoughts exactly.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to create an informative "disclaimer" post about these things, so that any teeny bopper with a vampire wish and/or trolling genius can be referred there and be given the facts without the need to spend any more time on it. If there is already such a post somewhere and I have failed to notice it, maybe it would be good to make it a "sticky".

I realise that there are very young people out there who can benefit from this. If one in ten is "saved" from falling into a spiral of vacuous nonsense, it will be worth the while.

I'm happy to retract what I sad about the Dark Veil. I was trying to offer some practical advice. I still stand by what I said about discretion.

Hierophant wrote:I'm happy to retract what I sad about the Dark Veil. I was trying to offer some practical advice. I still stand by what I said about discretion.

Discretion is always the best advice.

Let's go fix a problem that we have here, Hierophant. According to your posts you do not agree and do not feel ok with the way of Vampirism out there. Mostly things from Mrs. Michelle Belanger. While i thinking about your article i reminded some of your topics here that i take the liberty to share with you. You arrived here with telling us this:

Hierophant wrote:Hello everyone!

I've been checking out vampire forums over the last month or so and I've not had much success. Lots of kids, posers and role players.

I was googling "Asetian Bible" and I found this place. I was pleasantly surprised to see some decent conversation here. I've been inspired to purchase it. I've ordered it from the Book depository
-
SOURCE: https://www.vampirismforum.com/t757-hello-i-am-new-here#9847

After a few days you say this:

Hierophant wrote:After seeing some criticism here, I thought I might finally read my copy (which had been sitting on the shelf unread for about 4 years).

UGH!! I struggled to get through this tome of self indulgent BS.

The first part about her Vampire group is just horribly boring and self aggrandising. It's clearly made up. There is no evidence to back up her beliefs. Not even hypnosis transcripts like some past life books have.

And her monotonous second half about energy work is clearly ripped off so many classical New Age sources....yet.... She references none! She basically plagiarized that whole section in my opinion.

It's a piece of trash. Save your time and money. 1/10 from me.
SOURCE: https://www.vampirismforum.com/t775-has-anybody-here-read-michelle-belangers-book-s#10101

Here, we were talking about the Bible and you Asetian reminds us about the Codex, something to do with Mrs. Michelle Belanger.

Hierophant wrote:I've read the 'Psychic Vampire Codex" and the language used is perfect. Except the content of the book is garbage.

I'm really enjoying the content of the Asetian Bible, but the reality is it needs a reprint to correct spelling and grammar mistakes.
SOURCE: https://www.vampirismforum.com/t779p15-asetian-bible-poor-grammar#10355

I confess that this has gone unnoticed, but seeing things now and getting this detail .. I think you have been false with us all this time.

After that, you decided to pass a video with a link very clarified.

Hierophant wrote:A video from Michelle Belanger about how a lot of the community started.
I found the stuff at the end about Role Playing interesting.

https://youtu.be/f0pqpemq4jE

SOURCE: https://www.vampirismforum.com/t793-video-the-vampire-community-history-and-context#10383

And finally you end up advising some ethics ..

Hierophant wrote:Start with knowing the 'Dark Veil'. This is usually the standard of ethics adopted by the larger Vamp community outside Asetianism and this forum.
http://www.sanguinarius.org/articles/black_veil_2.shtml

You have a total of 53 posts and 29 active topics. I wonder to myself why in so little movement .. you speak in a very gentle, after all, no matter if we speak of good or bad things .. Since we speak. On the other hand, I must admit it's a smart way to talk about another vampire side talk about them (criticizing them), for the most inattentive and for the curious is how it comes the curiosity. You started by saying that everything seen out there is bullshit and here, this forum is very mature and real and in the end, you share things that you do not like.. What make you think she is would like it? Again, to me you're fake. Besides I consider that you are fake, I wonder if you are a double.

What do you think my friends? Do you think that Hierophant did it all innocently? or is acting here with a purpose?

Waiting for your opinions.

Hierophant, I do agree with your point on discretion. Discretion, just like privacy, is a very important thing and something every real vampire surely cherishes. The ones we see out there exposing themselves have nothing to do with real vampires and the occult community.
I just don't agree with the mention of the Black Veil, because it's simply a text used for role-play and not adopted by any real vampire group out there. Vampires don't follow the Black Veil. Role-players do.

Stalker, I don't agree with your last post. I don't think Hierophant is here to cause drama or is being fake. From what I see he's just looking for answers and to learn more about vampirism. This has nothing to do with Belanger and her dramas, so lets leave that alone.
By the way, the Black Veil was not created by Belanger. It was adopted by Todd Sebastiaan from White Wolf's game Vampire Masquerade. Later Belanger changed Sebastiaan's text and further plagiarized the Masquerade game, but she did not create it. Todd did. Either way it's a bullshit text and I agree it should not be given to newbies, simply because of the fact that Vampires don't give a damn about it.

Anyways, lets not get judgmental here with other members of the community Stalker. I don't think that is fair, unless someone does get here with intentions to lie and create drama. But those get washed away by the administrators in not time as we have seen.

Alright guys. Here's the thing.

Since I joined this forum (or around May this year) I have explored vampirism.

I am 35 years old. I am very new to this.

For years I was lost in Atheism/sceptics mindset. I dealt with a lot of depression and self destruction.

At the same time I've started looking into Vampirism, and that I might have some trait, I've also dedicated myself to a coven to learn Wicca.

Since about May, I have read in full both the Psychic Vampire Codex & The Asetian Bible.

I did not have much good to say about black veil, however recently I did a small online course run by someone who says she is a psi vamp. I did this to learn. She actually opened up in me an appreciation of the Black Veil. Mainly from the fact that a lot of these kids have no understanding of ethics. I know it's based on Vampire the Masquerade. It is a standard for most OVC forums out there.

So my appreciation is more..... think about this: Learning about Islam and realising it does some good to kids in a Pakistan village. I don't like Islam, I'm not Islamic... but meh.. you know.

That's it. I don't claim to be an expert. I think I've kept my cool even though stalker is up in my face about this.

I'm just a regular guy trying to learn more.

This is my goodbye from the forum. Please cancel my account. I will not be back.

Just pointing out a friendly reminder... Not all believe the same thing! Having the same beliefs or opinions is not, by any means, a requirement for the open forum. We all are at different places in our learning, have different backgrounds and vary in ages, and are continuously learning. Having different opinions and beliefs makes for interesting discussions and debates so long as things are kept respectable, as it gives opportunity to challenge each others thinking. None of us have all the answers! Truth is subjective! And when it comes to "beliefs" we all choose (as adults) what we want to believe and accept as "truth" which is subject to change as we grow, learn and change. "To each his own!"

I think Jonathan gave excellent advice for the young member; hope it will be put to good use! Though after what has occurred on this silly thread,I doubt they will return.

Also, I agree, again with Jonathan on his last post! I also see it that Hierophant is here searching for answers and to learn. (He stated an opinion here, with good intentions, to try to help the thread originator.) I think it is important to state, that it is the individuals choice to decide how far they want to incorporate the knowledge and beliefs stated here (or anywhere for that matter) into their own, or not. Again, truth is subjective! If one wants to take everything here (which mainly are opinions shared) as "truth" then that is their choice, just as if one doesn't take everything here as "truth" that is their choice. The thing is to search and look for answers, for knowledge, and to QUESTION EVERYTHING including Self! And remember, everything said regarding Asetians outside of the AB is unproven truths until proven otherwise, and the AB even states (somewhere in it) that it contains some false information. Again, it is the individual choice to decide/prove/question its contents, or not as with any book containing knowledge. Some will dismiss the entire contents, others dismiss some, and some take it all as "absolute truth". It doesn't matter, the choice is individual! The idea here of the forum is to discuss/dissect/debate the books contents, vampirism and occultism in general, share and debate "opinions" rather than for all to agree on everything which is boring and truly unrealistic, but some are afraid to play the devils advocate and disagree in public with peers as they fear being judged and/or not being accepted, being ostracized, which is one of the very reasons as to why there are only a few who dare participate here.

Now, I will address those of you who cannot take criticism on anything Asetian related; relax! If you cannot take criticism towards your beliefs without getting emotional, then you (or anyone for that matter) cannot properly defend or teach your beliefs (regardless of beliefs or religion as the same is applicable to all belief systems) and when we defend our beliefs, it provides an excellent opportunity and challenge to show what we know, to test ourselves, our knowledge, but, do so in only worth while situations that are respectful, of course. Anything one learns or is taught, one should question for proof and deeper understanding! Anything one accepts as "beliefs" one should continue to question deeper. We learn little without questioning! Without deeper analysis, we learn nothing beyond the surface level.

Hierophant, I am sorry to see you go! Maybe you will change your mind. You did not need to explain yourself, but I understand! You've been humble and mature in your responses and have expressed openness, and have displayed an open mind as well as your intentions for learning. I've enjoyed reading your contributions and enjoy seeing different points of view. It is good that you study different things which, again, shows an open-mind and only increases the path of learning. Keep learning!

Stalker, perhaps I am wrong, if so, then I apologize in advance, but it seems to me that you've been holding a grudge against Hierophant ever since he pointed out grammar mistakes that he was noticing in the AB (as he was reading it). If that is the case, then, such is wrong! Yes, there are some grammatical errors in it, that is a fact, albeit a minor concern. So what?! (I love the way Luis Marques writes!) No reason to get insulted and defensive over someone pointing out grammar mistakes. I tried to intervene in that thread because I knew some were going to get all bent out of shape over it, even though he had no ill intentions by mentioning grammar errors and was unaware as to how some are so sensitive around here. And as Hierophant has stated, he is here to learn! So, if you truly felt something was not right with him and you required an explanation, then you could have respectfully addressed him in private for clarification in a mature fashion; he owed you nothing.

You are right naugusta, i was reading your post and i can see your point. I'm sorry if Hierophant felt insulted, that was not my intention. Thanks for pointing out to me. I'm just too used at people saying nonsense that i end up judging others wrong.

Well said Jonathan too, you were right and good posts.

I came for answers and to learn. So thank you to everyone that has answers. I really do appreciate it. And i'm going to leave it at this: No, I don't going running around telling people I think I'm a vampire. Tht'll jst put me in a mental hospital (there's one right behind my high school). And I believe age doesn't Judge the level of someone's maturity. Thank you bunches Everyone. I'll just continue reading now.

Yours In Eternity,
Lizzy.

Stalker, you're welcome and I understand! I am glad that I could give another point of view and that it was received positively as my intentions were good. As far as the "non-sense" goes, I know what you mean! In regards to judging others wrongly, we are all guilty of it!!! (It happens!) Hell, I know I am!

@BassistLizzy: Enjoy your reading! You will learn some interesting things here.

Thanks Stalker. I'm glad you understood what I said and liked my post. I really enjoyed your humble reply, very mature.
Like I always say, we're all here to learn and no one knows it all.