how do i become a vampire

Now, for those who "want to become a vampire" here is what you must do....wait for it....... You must carry a large metal rod and be hit by lightning as the clock strikes midnight and then, most importantly, die, of course-- it is the only way. The moment before death, you must pray to the alien vampire octopus called "Clementine Mavis Earl Bucktirerod" and ask that he share his love with you and allow you too to become an octopus vampire because an octopus vampire is the most bad-ass vampire of all vampires. Well, then again, I guess you could ask Eddie the grasshopper vampire to hook you up, but were you to become one of his kin, then, most likely, you'd be gobbled up by an octopus vampire and that would not be too wonderful.

Love,
Morticia

@ N. Augusta:
I do however see your comment as a little bit to cynical if you forgive my criticism. I believe in what way exactly vampires exist is beyond our scope of comprehension. Just because the Asetian definition of a "vampire" is much different that the one given in traditional vampire folklore, this does not have to mean that the "traditional" vampire does not (or did not at some stage exist). This may be even indirectly acknowledged in the AB where Sean Manchester is quoted (view my Sean Manchester thread where I tried to address this question).

Lightseeker: Was not her (N.Augusta), was her pseudonym.

Btw, I like very much of you attitude around here.. But.. Don't forget of the words of my sister Syrianeh.

Lightseeker, If one is failing to accept Self as is and is wishing to be something that they are not, i.e. a vampire, then it is indeed obvious that one is not engaged in the big undertaking of the great work, the most important work of all, for Self. Wanting to be something that one is not, i.e. a vampire or hell a chupacabra for that matter, then it reflects the mindset of the unenlightened thinker and an unhealthy person. There are fantasies that are healthy and that can become a reality and there are unhealthy fantasies that people can lose their minds and Self to. We've seen that in some in the OVC, for example. And for those who lose Self to the desire to become a "vampire" make themselves vulnerable to deception and manipulation of others with ill-intentions. Our power comes from accepting Self and Self work. A hunger for power through obsessive desires to be that which we are not is weakness.

We have seen people take on a mindset of "Oh hey I'm a vampire-- people are my food and I'm better than humans and humans are shit!" This elevated sense awesomness, is unhealthy, because at the end of the day, we are all living the human experience here on planet Earth. In fact, I've yet to see from the Asetians an attitude of "We are vampires, we are better than....." Actually, by the published works of the AK, there is a sense of humbleness that comes through as well as patience that we see firsthand from the author who through his own words tells us that he is always learning, which, is a reflection of a wise one. Which, for me, speaks to my heart and soul, which by no means makes me awesome or special.

Now, anyone can believe however they so will, be it logical or illogical, be it truthful or false. The topic of vampires is not one of importance to me any longer. Vampires of folklore, well, if one wants to go deep into studying/investigating folklore, it is their choice, however, I pose the question of how does that help with Self growth? We can search the world for answers of x,y,z,p,d,q however at some point (which we should do often) we need to evaluate Self. Searching outside for answers is a major distraction from growth, especially if the majority of our focus is on the outside, but searching within for answers leads us to major growth. There are all sorts of things that exist in this world, especially in the astral, but our existence is what matters most as we have the gift to grow, which we must cherish and make the most of.

Some will put their focus of growth on being able to obtain immortality-- I don't. My purpose of growth is not for immortality, it is simply to become a better and wiser version of Self who makes the best of my time here in this life that I've been gifted, which includes learning, loving, as well as enjoying life to the fullest. Hopefully some of that growth will carry over into the next life. I choose to live in the Now.

Thank you, Stalker! Gomez truly knows Morticia.

Applause for n. Augusta...

Thank you!

Well said, N. Augusta!

N. Augusta...Thank you for making my evening with the delightful postings

N.Augusta, Cheers!

Thanks you guys!

You owned that moment, Augusta.

Syri Lol, but hopefully that gave some food for thought for some.